Sex
Show your support
@Bekah I know it's not gonna improve if we don't have the conversation. i just dont want it to feel like im forcing him to have sex with me. today i tried to initiate it and he told me he was sick. He saw that i was a little upset and then tried to have sex with me. For lack of better words I feel like he was pitying me that’s why he changed his mind, so I said no and convinced him that I wasn’t upset.
@Bekah how do you think I should start the conversation?x
Honestly? Just come out and say you feel like he is avoiding sex with you. Be honest about how you're feeling and ask if there is anything he wants to talk to you about on terms of how he is feeling about the relationship. The important thing is to honestly express your feelings without necessarily making him the sole issue. You both need the opportunity to voice how you're feeling in a space where you aren't going to be judged for what you're saying.
@Bekah thanks hun, I definitely will tonight when our little one goes down to sleep x
Good luck! You got this. X
So myself and my husband have only had sex twice since having my little boy, and those times have been in the past 4 weeks. Prior to this I had tried to initiate a few times and was rejected and his usual reasons were that he was too tired or he was worried our little boy would wake up. I even got a "oh I didn't realise that's what you were doing" I ended up speaking to him and saying that it was really affecting me mentally and physically and was starting to make me doubt our relationship. Since then he has started to make more of a conscious effort to say things to me, kiss me, cuddle me etc. It's not made a huge improvement in terms of sex but things have definitely started to improve and I don't feel as though I'm forcing him to do something he doesn't want to.
@Katie Exactly the same as me and my husband. We're making more of a conscious effort to show our affection, not necessarily sex, but just the little things. It makes such a difference.
As awkward as it may be for you both, have the conversation. If you don't, it's unlikely to improve. I had a similar conversation with my husband not long ago and it's made such a difference to our relationship. We're basically dating each other again because it was almost like we weren't in a relationship anymore. Just roommates, looking after our daughter.