Monogamy convo with husband…

Was talking to my hubby earlier about a friend of mine who’s husband was being unfaithful and he asked “would you be mad if I cheated on you? You wouldn’t want to share me.” (Note that he had an emotional affair about a year ago so he knows the answer to this) and I responded with “I’d be less worried about sharing and more pissed about the lying, the dishonest, disrespect etc…. Wouldn’t you be pissed if you found out I was cheating on you?” His response: “It depends but honestly, if our home life with me and the kids were still good and I was still getting everything from you that I need, I would NOT be upset or mad..” Y’all. I feel so hurt and saddened that he says he wouldn’t care if I broke that vow That we made to each other. That he isn’t the least bit jealous. It makes me feel like if I put out, stay home with the kiddos and clean then he doesn’t care what else I do in my spare time. It makes me feel used…. How do I bring this convo back up and try to express what I’m feeling?

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Hey Sis, I call BS on your husband’s answer. There is no man in the world who would not care if his wife gave up the goods to someone else. Regardless of how the home life was. I do believe he asked that question to gauge you. And your response. I would say, just be honest and bring up the conversation again. Your feelings were hurt and you have the right to express that.

@Jessica he has never really been a jealous person. I always wished he was slightly more? In my opinion healthy jealousy is good. It’s not lack of trust, but more just a “I care about potentially losing you” thing. I am going to try to bring it back up to him tonight.

I'm sorry sis. There it is was a reverse psychology. Ur husband is cheating on you currently. That was his way of informing you and preparing you to not act overwhelmed when u eventually find out.

I had a very similar conversation with my ex and it turned out he had been cheating on me

He’s not going about it in a good way but maybe he’s trying to communicate by being honest and open

I would just like to point out that this isn’t a monogamy convo this is an infidelity convo… polygamy/polyamory and infidelity are not the same thing. From the conversation and his past actions it seems that he doesn’t value your marriage. He hasn’t and wouldn’t hesitate to cheat on you and doesn’t care of you cheat on him. If that isn’t something you’re ok with then it’s not the right relationship for you 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would be suspicious that he was actually cheating by his statement. When men are cheating they are either super jealous and suspicious or completely not stressed about it.

@Yvonne < what she said

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