Is it pregnancy hormones or do I have a right?
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@Sydney that’s what I’m nervous about I think all round i wish it was different and i wish it could change but sometimes it just is what it is and that is really hard! 💔
I think grandparents all love being grandparents bc it gives them a second time to do things differently with their child’s baby. I don’t personally see anything wrong w that and think thats normal. If your mom doesn’t check on you but supports you, maybe try having a conversation how you’d want the balance of both. Some peoples love language is gift giving some are those conversations (especially old school parents) didn’t grow up that way. I found it in myself to being super resentful towards my parents as well and my therapist shared it’s actually super common bc of us realizing how many things we’d do different and how they did us wrong. At least that’s my experience. I hope you get to have an open conversation w mom at least & goodluck 🙏
Absolutely. Both my parents have passed and it’s always made me sad that any babies I have will only have one set of grandparents and currently I don’t have a relationship with either of my partners parents. They are both very narcissistic and have created so many issues within our relationship and with being parents and it’s been tough because they’re his parents so he doesn’t know any better and falls into whatever they say or want.
@Tatiana thank you lovely! I did have a conversation with my mum about it and all she said was “whatever you think” and really didnt even put in any effort to try and understand where I was coming from and that’s why I now feel like I’m at a point where I was to just cut it off completely…
It took my mom a while too to not be defensive and just get to her softer side but I’m stubborn af. Do whatever makes you happy especially now
@Sydney my partner doesn’t have a good relationship with his parents either so our Bub will essentially have to grandparents and that makes me really sad.. 💔
@Tatiana definitely the same with us! 😂 thank you for this it’s a positive outlook on it and I think that’s important 💗
It’s sad but it’s better for our son. The mental toll it took on me and on our relationship it was borderline causing behavioral issues for him. He needs both of us mentally well and unfortunately anything that gets in the way of that has to go.
Of course, enjoy your baby mama bear 💜
If they can't respect or care for you now and see a relationship with the baby, they sound like they will manipulate your child away from you or teach them that disrespect towards you :(
My mom is the same way. It took me almost a year after my daughter(she’s 16m now) was born to start slowly cutting her off because I can’t take no more. I talk to her MAYBE once every few weeks and it’s the same. Always about my daughter (I’m pregnant again and miserable) and I get called dramatic and told to get over it— I’m high risk and alone bc my husband is working out of state currently.
Omg in the same boat. Mums been better in recent years but still toxic and drinking. I asked for 3 boundaries (don’t drink around daughter, comment on her appearance, involve us in family drama) and she made a huge big deal about it it was insane. Ended up dragging up all the past stuff because she asked me to, and she said because she spent money helping me move and things like that (she screenshotted a list of things she’d paid for over the last 5 years 😂) and gave some nice advice when I was pregnant/had baby blues, I can’t be upset that she abused me 😂 I’ve said 2 months no contact to get her shit together or it’s no contact for good.
Im sorry youre going through this, after my first I pretty much stopped talking to everyone in my family, im currently expecting my second and my mom has put in the work and Ive forgiven her but my father is completely blocked from my life and so is my sister. its hard seeing your baby and realizing some people didnt even try to be there or to help you as a child.
@Serenah just messaged you lovely
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@Daisy it’s so Sad! I’m sorry you are going through that aswell because it’s time with your baby you can’t get back and it’s such an unfortunate circumstance knowing that it’s just for the best sometimes!
@valerie thank you 💗 for me, it has been extremely hard I feel like I hate the world because I can not believe and was not expecting how many people would just fall off the face of the planet! Some of my closest friends and family and it was just something I wasn’t prepared for! x
Personally I would remove them from your life before your little one is born. I get the impression that your mom is more concerned about having a second chance with your little one since she wasn’t good enough with you. If her primary focus is on the baby now and not you it will likely become worse once the baby is here. Not entirely the same situation but my MIL was that way while I was pregnant and I didn’t see the issue till my son was born and it got substantially worse. Maybe I’m projecting but better to have at least boundaries in place prior to your little one being born then to have to turn around and deal with it while balancing being a new mom.