Community Posts, Tips & Support on Postpartum Care

Honest, unfiltered, and in real-time: what women like you are talking about. Peanut group chats, support, and posts on Postpartum Care

When did you start having sex pospartum?

I'm genuinely curious to know haha
I honestly can't wait until I fully recover to do so 😩 lol

Am I the b!tch???

I broke up with my boyfriend (bd) all because I wanted to buckle down and focus on my mental health before my baby gets here. Not only that having the slight possibility of being induced tomorrow due to low amniotic fluid. I wanna get my mental health back on track so I can focus on giving my son a better life. I’m going to work on getting my permit, then my license, then get a job, then a car, start college somewhere in there in the spring, and also have time for my baby. I told the dad he can visit whenever just I won’t take my son out to where he lives unless it’s to go to children’s hospital which I hope I never have to do.

In all honesty I don’t think McKeesport is very safe for a newborn anyways. But his mother is saying it’s bullshit bc “im going to need him now more than ever “ am I really? Or should I be fine to do it on my own for a bit? Idk im conflicted and a little p!ssed at the same time..

How do I get rid of a persistent thought?

I went round my friends house nearly a year ago and the past 3 days my brain has been insistent that I left my daughter there. I spend every day with my daughter and we sleep in the same room, but my brain is still insisting that I left her at my friend's and that my daughter isn't my daughter even though I know she is...
I've tried identifying the thought, finding evidence for it and coming up with a logical alternative thought but it doesn't get rid of it.

Non first time mums answer honestly!

As my LO's first birthday is approaching, I am getting hit with a really heavy sense of nostalgia, missing the lead up to my baby's delviery, even labour and that fresh post partum feeling. My question is, does it feel as special the second time around?? Im upset I'll bever get to experience that feeling again.

Bio dad

I’m just now one week postpartum my daughter’s dad who wanted a baby really desperately ghosted me in the Pregnacy had excuses every time for why he wouldn’t show up he’s been in and out didn’t buy nothing for the baby I had contact with him asked he wanted to know anything after she was born. Wanted to know who she resembled her entire name about the birth certificate said he wanted to meet his daughter asked if the Drs asked where the dad was at delivery then he disappeared again won’t respond it breaks my heart we dated he used to be completely different then now he’s gone again I feel I won’t be happy again I won’t find a good guy one day and just be happy can some moms tell me ur story dose gets better did you ever move on from ur child’s father get married or was happy?

Episiotomy healing

I had my baby 7 weeks ago and I had to get a Episiotomy done and it opened like a week pp and today it looks like it’s still slightly open at my opening will it heal slightly open or will it eventually close fully so my vagina will look the same as before I gave birth. I’m worried my vagina is now gunna look deformed and I’m worried about having sex with my partner again.

Postpartum research

Im a pregnant university student and I was wondering if anyone would actually be interested in filling out a questionnaire for postpartum depression risk factors before I decided what my topic is. I think this topic definitely needs more research and now that im about to be a mum its given me a new perspective on how stigmatised mothers mental health can be

Postpartum hair loss

I am suffering with postpartum hair loss and just wondered if anyone recommended anything to take or try to help with it? I know it’s hormones but it’s so difficult seeing so much come out when I’ve never had issues with my hair☹️

Loss hair

Please someone help me alot of loss hair I had have one year like this my doctor says "your low iron" but now it increased....im really frustrated what i do? I have 3 years leaving in canada and I drinking filter water "(

Am I in the wrong for this?

So my (21f) good friend (20f) (let’s call her Jenna) have birthdays in the same week. I am three months postpartum and two weeks post cancer surgery so it’s hard for me to plan anything for my birthday (let alone anything else)
So I went into our friends group chat and tried talking about my birthday and what we could do, I even asked Jenna if she wanted to have something conjoined to avoid having the stresses of planning something. As soon as I sent that message she came in there and immediately started talking about her birthday, and basically just said “fuck no” to the conjoined birthday idea.
This isn’t the only time she does this, whenever I try to talk about something that’s bothering me, or something that’s going on in my life she feels the need to bring the conversation back to being about herself. I’ll tell her that I’m really struggling with postpartum and I feel like I don’t have a lot of support and she’ll just jump in and go “yeah girl I feel you. I just got broken up with and it’s so hard” and she’ll just send multiple LONG messages about what she’s going through to drown out my message. She’s been doing it since we were younger but honestly this is my breaking point. I just wanted to celebrate my birthday with my friends and now I won’t even be able to bc everyone got HER birthday off and I was basically just told to kick rocks. I really don’t get why having a conjoined birthday celebration with a good friend of yours when she’s struggling is such a horrible idea.
So AITA for refusing to go to my friend’s birthday celebration bc she clearly doesn’t care about mine or what I’m going through?

Postpartum bleeding

3 weeks 2 days postpartum today and mannnnn I cannot wait to stop wearing pads 🙃

I’m now using normal pads rather than postpartum maternity pads but I’m so sick of it, it makes me feel so unclean and unhygienic. Anyone else?

If you’ve already stopped bleeding / had a previous pregnancy, how long did it take for your bleeding to stop?

Post partum hair loss

My second baby is almost 6 months but I’ve been losing hair like this regularly for the past 2 months and I’m not sure if it’s worth going to the doctors? Anywhere I go I leave a trail of hair and I dread hair wash day in the fear of losing more 😭 I never lost this much hair for this long with my first baby but my whole pregnancy and everything was completely different with my second… Anyone else had anything similar and how did they prevent balding? 🥺

2.5 months PP and losing my mind

My baby is 2.5 months old and has had some serious struggles. After a long labour we were in hospital for 8 days and when we came home we found out he was deaf. Alongside this he had a severe tongue tie that was released and we’ve had countless breastfeeding hurdles along with reflux/colic. He’s not a great sleeper and is very up and down with naps. I feel like I’m losing my mind with worry and trying to solve all the challenges to do my best for him but it’s never enough and I feel full of self hatred. He is starting to reject the breast and prefer bottles which (even though I know is irrational) is making me feel utter despair and like he doesn’t love me. I can never switch off and I’m struggling to leave the house because I’m anxious about him getting upset. I love him more than anything and thought I was made to be a mum but nothing seems to be getting easier. Does anyone have any advice? I have been referred for talking therapy but there’s obviously a huge waiting list, and considering going on medication.

Mixed feelings about partner

So ladies im really struggling lately with my relationship with my bf. Theres alot of baggage and trauma, (emotionally and mental).. i love him i do but i find myself more annoyed by him than happy. Idk i just really need to vent about alot of things.

Narcissistic Partner. Need advice or support

I’m worried about 50/50. Will my kid be ok? Will I be ok? I think I’ll miss her so much and have so much guilt around not being there for her always. And so much sadness grieving the motherhood I imagined. Do they ever change? Its hard to let go of that hope…

Me and my “husband” (not legally married) have been together for almost 10 years. We had a “wedding” (not legally married bc he convinced me that was dumb) 3 years ago and our baby is 21 months now. I stopped working 4 years ago. I wanted a large family but I’ll never have another kid again.

Things weren’t great before hand, in retrospect there were red flags- but! Things are getting very bad now as far as financial control, emotional manipulation, neglect and abuse, threatening calling the cops about my depression while I have debilitating back pain that I’m getting treated for , saying I have to find somewhere else to live (after previously telling me he would relocate until I got ok my feet) and we will do 50-50 custody with 0 child support , nitpicks everything I do or say, makes my parenting and standards feel inferior to his… I could go on…

We tried behavioral therapy , it made things worse and enabled his behavior further. I’ve lost the life in my eyes trying to adjust to the constant moving goal post, WHILE learning how to be a mother. Still breastfeeding and cosleeping. He didn’t help with the baby’s sleep until my wheels fell off around 18 months.

I have some money saved but no job or income. I’m in therapy for myself right now and getting my body fixed so hopefully I can get a job and leave soon.

Has anybody had success with leaving this type of situation? How did you and your kids handle that? If you had divorced parents growing up, what was that like for you?

Not enjoying my kids at all

Everyone says to enjoy kids while they last because before you know it they’ll be adults. Mine are young and I hate being around them. They were sort of ok as babies but as toddler and school age kids, only negative things come out of being with them. They either complain, or whinge, or cry, or argue, or say they need the toilet, or say they’re bored, or tired or thirsty or hungry. Every interaction makes my actual brain hurt. I could be having the best day ever and I then come home to them and my mood completely drops. I just wonder why I’ve put myself through this. Why did I have children? It’s been 6 years and there’s not a single day that goes by where I have had a great day from start to finish. Whereas I had those days the majority of the time before kids.

I don’t understand how we’re expected to “enjoy every minute” of young children. How are mums supposed to enjoy getting a headache everyday from listening to crying, or from cleaning shit off the floor, or from stopping your child from damaging something that belongs to you or stop them from waving the toilet brush around the room. Please someone tell me. What am I doing wrong?????

PPD or just pregnancy ?

I hate to say it but I’m really beginning to hate motherhood , everyday I wake up done with the day before I’ve even started and I’m starting to feel really really down. I feel I can’t speak to family or anyone as they all just brush it off when I try to mention it , like it’s normal your doing so well ! When I really don’t feel good at all . I was really enjoying motherhood before becoming pregnant again even through baby crying I felt resilient and still just absolutely full of love for motherhood I loved all of it , the good and the bad. I’m not sure if it’s being pregnancy or postpartum but I’m really not enjoying it and I was so excited to have two but now I’m just dreading it and worried how I’m going to cope, I don’t feel the same about my partner I feel he used to do so much more than he is right now he still helps out but I just feel not to the same extent . Did anyone else feel like this whilst pregnant with the second?

Hormonal crash

Hey, I’m 12 days pp and feeling so overwhelmed with emotions, crying randomly feeling anxious and feeling numb.. will this improve ? Is anyone else feeling the same.. I feel down.

How am I supposed to deal with this

How am I supposed to deal with depression when I have 2 young children to care for ?
I can't even think my own thoughts because they get interrupted because of having to care for the kids.
So I don't know how I feel or how am I supposed to heal from these feelings?
I just feel like I need a break but I can't get one??

So guilty😭

My little boy just would not stop crying for 45 mins and after changing his nappy and trying to feed him and burp him repeatedly he would just not stop crying so I had to put him down in cot and then just walk out.
And now I feel so guilty that he's just crying in there. But I also have a migraine that I'm battling with so I just can't deal with the crying😢
Feel like a terrible mum