“I Have No Friends”: 7 Tips to Find Your BFF

We get it.

Scrolling through social media seeing everyone with their friends can leave you feeling lonely.

So where’s your friend group?

Why do they have friends, but you don’t?

Well, the truth is, we’re all different — some of us are more confident than others and take to social situations like a duck to water.

And some of us are a bit more reserved, finding it hard to put ourselves “out there” to meet new people.

There’s nothing wrong with either types of people.

And it doesn’t mean that shy people can’t find friends.

And you’d be surprised how many people feel the way you’re feeling right now.

Having no friends, or feeling like you don’t have any close friends, is a real experience, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Tons of people, at all stages of life, deal with feeling friendless.

But here’s the even better news: it doesn’t have to stay that way!

We’re here for you, every step of the way — it’s what we’re here for, to help every women find connection, wherever they’re at in life. 🫶

So let’s help you find your people!

In this article: 📝

Why do I feel like I have no friends?

The truth is, there are a bunch of reasons why someone might feel friendless, so cut yourself some slack — putting yourself down will only make you feel worse, and you are worthy of finding friendship.

Here are a few things that might be going on:

• Life gets busy: Maybe you’re juggling work, school, family, or that passion project that takes up all your evenings. It’s tough to build friendships when you’re constantly on the go.
• Social jitters: Let’s be real, putting yourself out there can be nerve-wracking. Maybe you’re a bit shy, or past experiences haven’t been the best. That’s totally okay, but it can make building new connections feel pretty daunting.
• Old friends dropping off your radar: Sometimes, friendships fizzle out, people move on, or you just don’t click anymore. It happens! And it can leave you feeling like you’re starting from scratch. But, more often than not, it’s no-one’s fault — we’re always growing and changing, and sometimes, we just grow out of friendships.

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Is it normal for me to have no friends?

Absolutely! Feeling like you have no friends, or maybe not a ton of super close ones, is way more normal than you might think.

Here’s the thing: “normal” is a pretty broad term.

What matters most is how you feel.

If you’re content with your current social circle, even if it’s small, then that’s fantastic!

But if you’re craving deeper connections and feeling a bit lonely, that’s totally valid, too.

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What can happen if a person has no friends?

If you’re reading this, thinking “I need a friend”, well… you’re right!

Friendship and connection are fundamental to living a healthy life — mentally and physically.

Loneliness can actually lead to all sorts of psychological disorders, like “depression, alcohol abuse, child abuse, sleep problems, personality disorders and Alzheimer’s disease”. [1]

But it’s also been linked to physical issues, like “diabetes, autoimmune disorders like rheumatoid arthritis, lupus and cardiovascular diseases like coronary heart disease, hypertension (HTN), obesity”, and other conditions. [2]

This isn’t meant to scare you — just show how important it is to have friends.

But, hey, you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want friends, right?

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What to do if you have no friends

Right, no beating around the bush — here’s what to do when you have no friends and you want to make some connections:

1. Use your hobbies: Make a list of all the things you like doing — reading, playing video games, sports, watching certain TV shows, keeping up with beauty trends… whatever it is, there will be other people that like doing the same thing!
2. Write things you love about yourself: As RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”.
3. Speak to your family: Who’s to say family can’t be friends? If you’re on speaking terms with your mom, dad, siblings, aunties, uncles, grandparents, or anyone else in your fam, get together with them — there’s no rule that says family can’t count as friends!
4. Get outside: This one sounds so much more daunting than it actually is — you don’t have to speak to anyone if you don’t want to, but just going outside for a walk is a great first step. If you’re too shy to strike up conversation with people, just making some eye contact and giving a smile can help you break down your walls.
5. Get a coffee: Or a tea, soda… whatever your drink of choice is! Go to your local coffee shop, grocer’s, or bar, and order a drink. Ask the person behind the counter how their day’s going. That’s all you have to do. They’ll reply, and then you can reply back, if you want to. Starting a random convo seems like a lot, but doing it under the guise of ordering a drink or doing something can help tackle those barriers.
6. Join a Peanut Group: We’ve got loads of Groups for all sorts of hobbies, life stages, experiences… anything and everything! And if there’s a hobby or experience you don’t see listed, why not start your own Group? There’s bound to be other women like you on Peanut. Chatting as a group can feel less intimidating than a 1:1 convo.
7. Make a connection on Peanut: It’s what we’re here for. To help women find connections, wherever they’re at in life. Scroll through profiles of other women near you, and when you find someone who sounds like they could be a great fit as a friend, give them a wave by swiping right. If they like the sound of you, they’ll wave, too, and you’ll be a match! Not sure what to say once you make a match? Don’t fret, we’ve got lots of icebreakers to get you chatting with your new potential bestie!

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Why is it so hard for me to make friends?

“So why do I have no friends? Why can’t I make friends, when everyone else can?”

Brace yourself, because this is going to sound harsh: you’re not that special.

It’s not just you feeling like this.

There is nothing “wrong” with you that makes you feel like you can’t make friends or meet new people.

How do we know?

Well, hundreds of thousands of people search for things like “I have no friends” every month — and that’s just in the US.

The truth is, building friendships can be tricky.

There is no set formula that works for everyone.

But (and you’re gonna hate how cliche this sounds) if you don’t put yourself out there, you won’t find your people.

Don’t think “what’s the worst that could happen” when trying to make new friends, think about “what’s the best that could happen”.

So join us on Peanut and find your people — you will find your friends.

Sometimes, you just have to look for them. 🫶

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