Inlaws, family, & venting

So I live with my fiancé and his dad and the family dynamics are completely wild the dad does nothing for himself he lays around on the couch literally breaking the thing and he butches no matter what and says we don’t pay for anything and we don’t clean but the fact of the matter is he is like a toddler he comes before everyone our kids and each other and if I say something I’m the bad one he lays around feeling sorry for Himself for no reason he’s lazy and his needs come first and bc of him I’ve been abused physically mentally etc bc he causes arguments bc his needs are put first always and I’m dismissed and my fiancés mom caused me to get cut in the face on my bday bc she lied to Her son about something she said and lied I waited home for him to get back to spend time with me he seen his kids like he always does but I can’t ever see my kids when I got with him I had my life together had a dodge charger money and worked with FedEx since I got with him I lost everything even my children pretty much and the abuse is horrible I have no self worth love or esteem left I’ve tried to leave on many occasions only to be tackled down or chased with the car he says he loves me but lastnight he busted the only thing I had left my phone and jumped on me and blaming me for my reaction to his abuse idk what to do ADVICE PLEASE I just want myself my life my health and my kids back this was me before I got with him 130 lbs now I’m 105

Okay. I could go on a whole tangent on everything my in laws have said to me since I got engaged to their son, but it’s late and I’m tired. I just needed to vent about what just happened. My husband doesn’t listen to me when I tell him not to ask his parents for help with anything because they’re the types to turn around and throw it in your face that they helped you. He had asked them for a small loan last year (I told him not to but whatever) and apparently his mom keeps a literal notebook with whatever money she loans out to ALL of her kids and what they owe her (which I just find weird because my family is NOT like that with each other, like if you need help we help??) anyways she even included this hammock that she bought for me stating “I know you wanted one!” And I was like “wow thank you, you shouldn’t have!” And she ADDED that to the list of money we owe her 🫩 anyways we’ve had to pay a couple things and now his dad messaged us both saying we are OVERDUE on payments and to hurry and send him money because my husband isn’t being a “man” (yes he actually put that in quotes” and then went on to say how they were the only ones to help us when no one else would. Now I know this is a low blow towards me and my family but my parents don’t have good jobs like they do and they literally live paycheck to paycheck. It’s just so frustrating and I wish I could cut them off. My son loves them and he’s only one but I’m so tired of the disrespecting me and my husband (their son!!!) I feel like they shouldn’t get the privilege to be around MY baby when they talk to us so ugly all the time.

Does anyone get along with there sister in law

So my partner has older parents than mine. Probably about 10 years older. And they’re not really financially responsible to an extent. I feel like their priorities are wrong and they’re not really focused on paying off their house. My partner says yeah when they get older I’m gonna have to take care of them. And I get like checking on your parents make sure they’re going to their appointments and stuff. But this is more of like oh I have to take care of them financially as if him and his siblings were groomed to be their cash flow in old age. They still expect their house paid and their bills paid. And for me I personally think it’s wrong, me and my partner often get into arguments when talking about the situation. Because my parents have a plan, a plan for a retirement. And a plan to make sure that we don’t have to provide for them in old age. What are your thoughts on the situation because I’m kind of mixed between it? I feel like we can help if we have like the excess money but we are barely getting by as it is. We do not live in the same state of his parents so I don’t know how else is he supposed to take care of them? I personally feel like it’s wrong to put that kind of pressure on your kids when they’re off starting families they have to support.

Hi all, I have an on-going issue with my in-laws smoking in their house, and not seeing the issue I have with my 16 month old being around it. My partner has made it crystal clear from the moment we had our son that we don’t want him exposed to second hand smoke for any amount of time. For a while I thought they understood and I would compromise and still take him as they smoked outside in a gazebo for a while and the air was clean. They have reverted to old habits, smoking in the house again. I didn’t know this until I took my son over and my MIL was smoking in the kitchen with the window barely open. I am an ex smoker, but my eyes were stinging and my son was coughing. I felt so uncomfortable I just wanted to leave. My partner mentioned it and opened all the doors and windows but I just feel they won’t respect my boundaries. My partner was on the same page, but my son has a cough and so today I refused to allow him to go to that environment, to which my partner got defensive and annoyed at me (complete change of tune!). He said there always seems to be an issue with my family and not yours, but I just said that is simply because visiting my family doesn’t put my son’s health at risk… he’s gone there by himself and we’re not talking. It’s just so frustrating that this situation is causing such an issue! Is anyone else in a similar situation or have any advice to deal with this? Also to add, they’re very argumentative and set in their ways, so I think my partner has a difficult time having a rational conversation on the matter because they just don’t get it!