How do you know if your relationship has ended and can't be fixed?

Huge hugs from me! Bub and I left in Feb this year - but things had gotten pretty bad so it was clear that it was over - cold and distant was from the day he was born, then it turned into anger, manipulation and a drunken night of furniture bashing where he said the next step was hitting me and our baby. I tried to get him help and counselling. Then it happened again so we got out. I would start off by seeing a counsellor for yourself, and then maybe invite your partner in when you’ve decided you want to try to stay in the relationship. I’m only 6 months into the single mum life and it is HARD - way harder than I expected it to be. Good luck.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope you're coping well although it's hard. I'm heartbroken for our little boy. I never thought I'd be put in a situation like this and would potentially be bringing up a child on my own. My partner and I have issues starting from when I was pregnant and had to stop work. Basically, he was very stingy. Ended up wearing torn clothes etc bec my belly was getting bigger and I had nothing to wear. I didn't expect to stop working that early so I wasn't prepared. I came back to work when bub was 5 mos old. He did very little help even though he knew I was still adjusting and we argued a lot then. Things got better but then he also made less and less effort. Valentines day, mothers day, even my birthday passed without him giving me flowers or a card or anything. And not that I want presents. I only want to feel special because it's hard to be a mum. I want to at least feel like he appreciates me.

At some point, despite knowing I have work to do, he comes home whenever he wants. Spends 10 to 12 hours at work which of course pisses me off because some of my tasks have to be done with my full concentration. After many arguments, his shift changed and it got better. Recently though, again Same old him. Barely made an effort kn my birthday. Made me attend my client meeting with a crying child in tow because he said he wasn't gonna use his leave credits so I can work. But he attended a work function without having to worry about a child. That to me is really unfair. He also bought an air mattress recently, initially made it out that its for me so I can sleep without our son somedays and he will look after him. But today, he said maybe I should sleep beside our son 5x a week and he will do Fridays and Saturdays only. And he also told me to go back to my home country for as long as I want with our son so i can take a break. But to me, that's actually just him wanting us to go away.

Everytime I talk to him about my issues, he says I'm going crazy because I work from home. He never says sorry. He never says he will change. All he says is we are just very different people. This makes me want to just be a single mum than have to deal with it over and over again. I'm broken. And I feel bad that my son sees me crying.

Thank you. And yes, it does feel that way. That I'm in this alone anyway so why should I stay with him? The only worry I've got is our son and how he will cope and if I'm actually making the best decision for him. Its so easy to walk away if I'm single. But I've got a little boy that I now have to consider with every decision I make. And it's making me sad....

It doesn't sound like your boyfriend respects you or even wants to fight to keep the relationship going. You can't fight for a relationship to work if you're doing it alone. From my experience, becoming single was easier once I settled in. My "workload" has gone way down. My kids are happier because I am + the home is more relaxed. It's scary leaving but now I'm living ✨️

Are you getting any child support from your ex? I guess since I'm thinking about separation, I also need to think about child support and child custody. I do think I'd do better if I'm single. At least I'm not getting hurt because of another person. @Jessica

@Sarah that is true.

Yes I am, although it's hit and miss when he pays it. He will legally have to pay it once the paperwork goes through. My ex have been quite bitter about me leaving but I'm not playing into his games or arguing back.