Struggling with sexy time?

Hi all! I'm a first time mum of a 3 month old and I love her and her dad soooo much. My only issue is that I've REALLY lost my libido since having my daughter and have only had sex 3 times she she was bon. Today my partner told me he is struggling with his self esteem as he feels like I don't want to sleep with him anymore and I'm now feeling pressure (which he has said he doesn't want me to feel.) I think I like to have slow and sensual moments and definitely not a "quick she's asleep let's get it on..." type of girl. I've mentioned this before but he has said he is going to stop trying to be passionate with me because I don't seem to pick up on his signals and he's giving up. I just don't feel like i have time for it. Can anyone give any tips/advice to help?

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Is there anyone that can watch your little lady for a couple of hours so you guys can have some time alone together? I found it hard after my little lady to feel sexy, let alone want someone to touch me. Also, try & give yourself a break. You've just grown & birthed a human being xx

If he understood what happens to your body during and after pregnancy he wouldn't have even said that to you, why is he projecting his feelings on to you so now you feel guilty over something that is completely normal after having a baby?? I'm the same as you and I've told my partner over and over it's not him I just don't feel like myself and the fear of getting pregnant again takes over my desire for sex, I love him exactly the same if not more but not feeling sexual and he understands and doesn't project his feelings on to me, I make sure I give him plenty of hugs and kisses and cuddles in bed through the day

My LG is 4 months and we haven't done it much since her birth either, I literally just didn't fancy it!! It's slowly starting to come back though and I think it's helped that we've tried to have little date nights. My parents had her at their house for the night and me and my partner just had a few drinks and watched TV lol, we had a good sleep then in the morning had a shower together and had sex/oral sex and it was really nice, I think because we chilled out together all night first it really helped me relax and actually want to have sex again. We will keep trying to have these nights together maybe once a month although at the min we're in the regression so it's bloody hard and im knackered lol. Your partner really needs to give you time and understand its nothing to do with him, I do understand the need to feel reassured though as my partner felt a little bit like that in the early stages I think, it's whether he's gonna keep going on about it that's the problem! X

One of the things that helped us was having some date nights where sex wasn't even an option. We'd go on walks, or bowling or the cinema or a quick dinner and gradually, the drive, desire and the want to be more intimate came back. There was no pressure or expectation from either of us and we were able to navigate us as a couple again before being intimate and it definitely did help. So if you have any family help, I would suggest rediscovering yourselves again. Even date nights at home can help. I can see it from your POV and his POV - it's hard for you both, but harder for you, in my opinion. It's a shame your partner said he will stop but talk to him, suggest some date nights if you can and hopefully you can reassure each other! X