Just my life in general…

Hello, I’m sorry this post will be quite long. I just feel like I really need to let this out. So my daughter who is 7 years old has not seen her biological dad since she was 1. That one time she has seen him was only due to her biological dad requesting for a DNA test. That was literally it. Her dad is from a prominent family with a political background. Other than the fact that they’re whole family is so ego driven they also think I am after his money. The fact that he asked for that DNA test was already a big smack on my face. I wont even get into detail about the day he found out I was pregnant. Fast forward to today, he has been giving ‘support’ but it’s more like ‘hush money’ others would say. I have always thought that he has never had any interest with our daughter. He has never made effort to see her! Her birthday is next month. She is older now and she would ask me all these questions about her biological dad, even to a point that she said she loved her step daddy more than her real dad. I keep trying to push for them to have a relationship but I’ve realized obviously it is not up to me. The only time he has made any interest to ask about what’s going on with her is when there is money involved like when he has to split the cost of something. He would have the audacity to ask for receipts or some kind of proof. I’ve had enough. I feel bad that I’ve forced something that was not genuine. He only paid support because he was worried I would say something to the media and come after him and destroy his career. He clearly does not know me to think I am the type of person that would do that. If I wanted to I would have done so a long time ago. He has sent me money recently for medical expenses. I am thinking of sending it back to him. His tiny contribution is not needed in exchange for my integrity. From day 1 he has doubted me and its really affecting my mental health. I am open to any advice and anyone that can possibly help me come up with a simple neutral but packed with a punch response when I return the money. I am too emotional to think but I know not accepting any support from him is the right step. There is no point when if he does not trust me in the first place. If he really wants to he can provide support in a different way.

Show your support

That sounds really tough. I think what you’ve concluded is the right choice.

Thank you. I’m sorry about my post, it might not sound like it makes sense it has been 8 years of suffering quietly and a rollercoaster of emotions. I thought I was doing right by my daughter because even though I disliked her dad very much I thought it was still my daughter’s right to know him. I think for now we will just lay low.

Gotta do what’s best for you and your daughter. Cant pour from an empty cup 💕

I think it’s the right thing to do. I’ve always said whomever I end up creating a child with can leave or stay but it won’t be one foot in one foot out the door. He’s either all in or all out. If he doesn’t want all in he can sign his rights away have no last name given to her/him except mine and be gone from our lives while obviously I’d never hope that’d happen I think it’s the best thing to do for you and your child. There’s no sense in trying to get someone to do something they don’t want to do. Period. I’d say tell him while I accepted your help and support hoping one day you’d change your mind and actually want a relationship with your child it is best for both of us to no longer be accepting your help. For mine and my child’s best mental well being it’s better to cut ties completely. Something along those lines!

Thank you Kelly! That is completely true. I am noting everything down and when I’ve calmed down and cleared my head I will send him that message. I appreciate your help. x

You’re welcome! Good luck with it all it’s hard but you’ve been doing it this long without him In the picture better to just let him go now and you and your hubby keep loving your baby! ❤️

I’ve sent the message. I’ll update incase I get a response.

Okay! If/when he responds even if you just want to send a pm I’m here to talk if you need to vent your feelings☺️