Partner says I shouldn’t be angry at his mum 🤬

How old is your son? Personally I think it could be unsettling for him to hear from you especially if he’s off to bed and happy. I don’t think you should be angry and it seems a bit of an extreme reaction. Sounds like you probably weren’t ready to leave him so soon.

Agree with the above tbh

Sounds like you were not ready to leave him. I skip out the door now - no news is good news 😂😂

Same ^

I would be annoyed. Yes it could be unsettling for little one to hear you but from what you’ve said it sounds like they’ve ignored you & purposely contacted your partner instead which doesn’t seem fair to me. I do agree with your partner though and say you would have appreciated a call back to see how your son is x

He’s approaching 18 months and I’ve made it clear in the past, as his mum that it is important to me that I say goodnight. Full ready to leave my son but at the same time, My son never gets upset and infact loves to press end call.

I think this is a ridiculous reason to be so mad lol

I wouldn't be mad about this. Feels like an overreaction tbh.

Only you know your family dynamic - but they are helping you out so pick your battles 👍🏻 next time just ask them to answer when you call as you are leaving

My mother puts my son to sleep and she doesn’t notify me, personally it’s good as my son gets really upset and I would much rather he had a good night sleep and wake up to me cuddling him. He sleeps easily with her My son is 19 months for reference

From what you’ve described, it sounds like he’s gone to bed happily and peacefully. Kids who don’t seem bothered in your short absence are confident that you’re coming back.

I think it's very silly, if not downright rude to be angry for this reason. Your MIL has done a lovely thing for you by minding him and probably didn't want to disturb your night out, might have forgotten or had a good lead up to bedtime that she didn't want to break by calling you and possibly upsetting him. Your hubby is right in all honesty - you're overreacting and if you have an issue about it talk to her personally, in a respectful and calm manner. Or don't take the help and stay home next time. I personally don't leave my son with anyone (he's 2.5y) and won't until he's 4 partially because I'm very nit-picky and want things done a certain way, and I know it's unreasonable for me to dictate every part about how someone else minds him.

If you’ve rang and they’ve not returned your call but rang partner that is so rude I would be annoyed too

I wouldn’t be mad too. It’s not always easy to add something in when already in process. She probably innocently forgot. When I’m away from my kids we talk at dinner time or after dinner but not before bedtime. Before bedtime would make it hard for them and whoever is putting them to bed bc baby might start to get fussy. Applies to my 17 month and my 3 year old. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Did you ask her to call or FaceTime you? If not, then I don’t think you should assume they’d know to do this. I think you need to just ask for this in the future.

For everyone saying she is overreacting. Why did the MIL ignore her calls and attempts to say goodnight and then call her partner? Sounds passive aggressive on the MIL side Also she is venting. No where in her post did she ask if she was overreacting. Those are HER feelings and she can feel anyway she wants to. She came here to vent. It’s supposed to be a safe place to get her feelings out not everyone telling her she’s overreacting.

I disagree with the other comments. I would not be happy at all if they were uncontactable and looking after my son. When you get home I would say, ‘thank you for having him we really appreciate it but I’m only comfortable leaving him if I can get hold of you and want to always say goodnight to him’ I don’t think that’s unreasonable at all x

Wow these comments are crazy. Idc what anyone thinks, if whoever is watching my child and they dont pick up the phone from me to inform me what they are doing they will not be watching my baby again. You are their mom and you are allowed to be angry. You set the rules, not your in laws. Explain to them that next time you want to say good night to your baby and that they need to pick up the phone when you call, otherwise I wouldn’t let them watch the baby anymore

Did you ask for a call? Maybe they are just being considerate to allow you guys to have a full night out and also so your son doesn’t get upset when he sees you on a call before bedtime. If you want a special ritual, just ask. I’d only be upset if you requested it and they didn’t follow through.

If someone was watching my son, and didn't answer my calls, I would be fuming and I'd be cancelling my night and be there in a flash. That in itself is not on to me. I also think if you had said that this is what you wanted to happen (a call at bedtime) and it didn't, then you have every right to be angry/disappointed too. However it doesn't sound like it was malicious and baby was happy so they had no "need" to interrupt your evening. Perhaps consider if you are ready to leave him with them just yet, especially over bedtime, maybe it's just not the right time just yet. And that's ok! My son is 2.5 and has never been left at bedtime, if we go out for dinner I'm always home for bed.

It’s a routine that every night, we call my in-laws to say goodnight to our son. Have done since he was born & continue to do so. Yes, in-laws know to call so we can say good night. You can’t forget to call the parents of the child you are caring for…. Again, my partner was called after but no message to me. I explained how I felt asI’m an honest person, no rude and appreciate all help given as I have no family my side. My partner never wants to upset his mum hence why I was told to talk but again, not bothered by that. It’s crazy as im being made to look like the ungrateful one, the one who isn’t ready to leave her son…. Nope im a mother who intends on saying goodnight to her son until my last breath…

I would feel the exact same way if this were to have happened to me so don’t let those comments above get to you. Your feelings are completely justified. A few others said it above, if whoever is looking after your child is not answering your calls, that would be very worrying and scary for any mother in the moment. The fact your MIL didn’t return your calls and called your partner instead tells me that she’s guilty of ignoring calls/not calling back. I would be making it clear that if they don’t do what you’ve advised whilst babysitting then they won’t be babysitting again. Hope you’re okay. Here if you want to vent or rant.