Family Struggles

I have and will do it again. You don’t listen the first time then we’re gonna have some problems. Period. Don’t care who you are.

Are you paying them?

@Shore no, they let us stay for free since they moved out close to the end of the lease anyway and they knew we were struggling. We had no income for a bit while my husband was trying to get a job and I was having health issues.

I’m such a people pleaser and I get scared to confront but I’m a hot head which doesn’t mix well cuz I just end up feeling awful after. Honestly within that this is a great reason to push my people pleasing aside and go off. It’s also creepy. I have to confront my husband about certain situations because he knows I would just go off without thinking! Then it be me crying after! lol! This is an understandable reason to go off they need to show respect.

When we first mentioned it we told them, I understand it's still technically your place but a heads up would be nice so I can be decent before you walk in. They've come in multiple times while I was indecent and I had to run to get dressed because there was zero warning, no knock, no nothing. They knew I was home and at that point knew of the possibility that I could be indecent. They agreed to give us a heads up and said that since they didn't live at the house anymore it's technically our space now.

@Patience I'm the same. I go off before thinking and I'm working on that so I talk it through with my husband each time.

@Blair got close to calling them up when I found it his grandma picked up my baby without permission. IDC who you are you don't grab my baby without my permission, especially when you're prone to falling like she is. Had she fallen while holding my baby she'd have had more to worry about than her fall. I'd lose it

@Laura Boyd girl you do what you need to do. It’s your child. What you say goes at all times.

I actually cussed out my MIL two Christmas ago. She wanted to be rude and play dumb and invite herself over to our house and extend the stay without asking us. This After she got drunk and cussed me out and almost got my kids hurt because she kept listening to my narcissist mother, who was already in No Contact with. We're good now, but it had to happen.

@Ingrid I don't think I'd be surprised if they tried something else that made me finally snap if I'm honest. Good for you taking the stand you needed to. I'm glad all is well now

I didn’t read through the whole post… just the beginning. I don’t think I’d let it get to the point of me wanting to cuss someone out about it. They get a precaution then one reminder after that if they continue to disrespect boundaries then they cut off, the end.

@Elaine Williamson I wish I was as strong. I'm working on that about myself. I just don't like confrontation

All I had to do is read the first part . My family members are nothing but people who think they are better than anyone else . You ain’t alone . They noisy as hell too think everything about them. You’re not not alone. Also thank you. You gave me the opportunity to vent somewhere other than Facebook. I get in trouble on there because I get mad at them 😂😂😂. They ain’t got this platform lol

@Keena's I got you! When family doesn't wanna respect boundaries or feel better than you, you gotta vent to somebody somewhere haha

I could go on and on about his grandma tbh. Caused major drama between our families while we were dating cause she made a comment about him that wasn't even true. Spoiled his first idea at proposing to me because she deemed it to be "self centered" that he wanted his (really our) friends involved even though it's also what I wanted. AND while we were still all in the house she opened my mail... Claimed she didn't know it was mine but my name was in big bold letters on both sides of the package. Too bad for her it was an adult toy that she opened it up to. That taught her to not go through my stuff again 😂

@Laura Boyd think about it in terms of your baby. Would you hesitate to call someone out and enforce a boundary about your baby? If you wouldn’t hesitate, give yourself the same respect. If you would hesitate… get therapy to help you figure out how to face that confrontation fear. I HATE confrontation but you better believe you not bout to disrespect me and mine lol

when i get to this point i usually just cut them off. i cut my family out right before i got married. they’ve never met my husband or kids but honestly my pregnancies and postpartum have been so peaceful. once you move out i recommend just cutting them off. your mental health will really thank you

When we bought our house 2 years ago my boyfriend gave his mom a key to the house even before I got a key to the house! There's several times she has just shown up with no notice. And it wasn't as bad when she lived 25 miles away (3 towns over) but she just bought a house in Jan which is now 2.2 miles away. She bought a house in the same town as us to be closer to the kids and us. I appreciate that she's close by to help but I hate the unannounced visits. Especially when I regularly walk around in just a bra and usually shorts but sometimes just my underwear

@Elaine Williamson you're right. I've been working on it. I grew up being yelled at for standing up for myself or even being called names for crying when something upsetting was said to me. It instilled this fear in me and it's been difficult to break. Honestly the therapy I've had has helped, but having my baby has helped even more. She's pushing me to get better and push through the fear for her sake.

@Laura Boyd you’ve got this babe!