Single mum struggling

Hi hun, I really feel you, the first 3 weeks were the worst for me I reached such a low place and generally was finding it hard to enjoy motherhood, lots of crying and a bit of rage towards my family in particular. I'm glad I spoke up sooner rather than later though, I told my health visitor how I was feeling during the early days visits and they did a referral to a mental health service. I found it was taking too long so I ended up doing a self referral too on top of theirs lol I was desperate for help because I just didn't feel like I could talk to anyone around me. They assessed me and recommended a 9 week intensive course called wellbeing for mums, weekly group sessions with other mums finding it difficult and I am forever grateful for that course. The teachers were so empathic and everyone in the group was very transparent in sharing their struggles.

I really recommend that you reach out to a professional as soon as possible rather than letting everything build up. They can assess you and find out exactly what kind of support you need. I know it's scary thinking you'll say the wrong thing and they take your baby, but you really should speak to someone, you don't have to suffer in silence 🥹

Just remember that it really does get easier. By 3 months everything will have calmed down. It’s very very tough at the beginning

i am also a single mum who lives with their parents to a 8 week old boy and i can tell you you’re not alone! you are doing an incredibly hard job, made for 2 people, ALONE! they say it takes a village for a reason, have you tried going to baby classes? i’m going to as many as i can and only find myself 2 days a week where i’ve got nothing planned for us! it does get easier. he’s now 8 weeks and id getting excited by toys which is so amazing and means we have more to do :)

@Eline I’ve got a visit with my HV at the end of the month do I wait until then or do you think I can message her sooner? I’m not really sure how you get in contact with them x

@Libby we’ve got one class that we went to today which was lovely so will go back, it’s just knowing when other classes are on around me but thank you so much! It definitely is hard being a single mum, it’s hard to find time to look after me when trying to look after him as well x

Do you not have your health visitors phone number? I remember mine explicitly showing me the number on the letter inside my LOs red book. Maybe you could call your GP and ask if they have the number for your health visitor? If you could get a hold of them I would definitely raise your concerns with them before the next visit.

@Juli I’ll get his book out and have a little look and see, if not we’re only a short walk from the GP so will probably be quicker to go in x

You can message your HV sooner or wait, it depends on you and how bad you're feeling Hun, but honestly if you can, do the self referral form to IAPT I think they are now called NHS Talking Therapies

Those early post partum days are wild! Your hormones are all over the place. When they call them “baby blues” they’re not doing it justice. No one will take your baby away from you for reaching out for help. Speak to your health visitor or Doctor and explain how you’re feeling, it’s always better to be honest and ask for support. It can be so difficult when you have a partner to share the load with. I can’t imagine how hard being a single mum is. The fact you’re recognising your feelings and seeking help is the first step. Getting out and about really helps with your mental health so I’d recommend carrying on doing that.