Vulnerable long rant…

Evil… karma my man of 2 years just called me evil, said i'm full of negative energy… so why are you here, why you live with me, BETTER YET why are you with me? I was all the kindness and love when I was doing everything for you. Taking you out… getting rooms… traveling, buying the bud, etc… but the moment I stop I’m all types of bullshxt. I say take me out for once back in March n haven’t been anywhere since I stopped spending!! I’m tired of being the guy & the female!! Am I the problem ? No! Sure I can b snippy but nooo. Everything is me me me. To the point I really start to think it’s me. It’s an issue about almost everything. Can’t be open and honest with him for nothing… because he’s quick to call it a lie. But I have to endure and accept all the dumb shxt he says??! I’m sooo lost. Couldn’t even continue on my spiritual path through grief or let alone write my book because social media or talking to other ppl going through similar situations is a problem to him so I cut it off!! I just stopped. Sitting here in the first trimester of pregnancy really has me on a roller coaster because for fuxn once I’m sticking up for myself! Then u call it karma… who’s???? Because I am a good person. I’m the nice one out the bunch.(my fam) I’m Optimistic, hopeful, always seeking some good in ppl. I do good deeds. I make sure the energy I put out comes back to me positively. I treat ppl how I want to b treated! But to b called evil… HA!! Full of negativity…. Ha! Mean is the type of stuff I expect to hear from my 7yo because I wake him up for school when he doesn’t want to get up, or I tell him to do his homework, or I tell him no to the eating all the snacks. Smoking dope… gotta be because even with these dam extra hormones from being pregnant I am always turning the other check n quick to forgive. What you mad for… U get mad at every question I ask but expect me to answer all yours??!! Like foh… I asked a question about work n u didn’t want to answer that. U called my response to a question ratchet because I answered in detail. Then u said… that’s not what u wanted to talk about after working x amount of hours. Bxtch u got off at 5… n went to ya friends house til damn near 11pm. Then mind u u said u was coming back at 8. Soo I was excited to spend time with my man but that was a lie… sooo I let it go til like 9:30 n that’s when I call n u don’t even answer. But u expect me not to b let down…. Like wtf!! && the kicker is saying you didn’t want to have the cab person drop you off because you didn’t know who was at my house. Like my dad’s niece is the damn dispatcher and the ppl at my house are her brothers. My dad’s… nephews. Smh 🤦‍♀️ what u mad I’m not spoiling you anymore && ya gotta do something for yourself for once??!! We both adults… At this point… I don’t even care if you leave…