So as soon as they start u cut them off with a "no thank u, those comments are not appropriate" then u dont bring race into it and u stop them too. To say he doesnt look like his dad in itself isnt hurtful. None of my kids look like me and people say it cos its true. Doesnt bother me in the slightest that they look like their dads twins.
Honestly my oldest to me is the same. Has his dad's features but light like me and his hair (although super curly) goes blond in the summer. I never addressed it with my kids unless they opened the conversation. I will tell you my son has faced comments from a white friend pertaining to his skin colour. My son identifies as black. That's his identity that I never influenced. I found out when I filled out a form for his school that had the option and I asked. He said check black. I said you don't want to check mixed? He said no because he views himself as black. I've raised him as a single white mom and feel I've done the best I can and it must be good enough because all my kids are confident with who they are.
My baby is very fair too, though she has her dads features and hair… we’ve only had one comment off her dads brother who joked in pidgin English that she was a white baby but my boyfriend told me, I assumed he was joking as he works in the medical field and knows how genetics work, though it was a bit rude. Like you said it doesn’t change their roots, my LG is off to Nigeria in august and we will go most years so she will know her Nigerian culture well as she grows and is around her dads family and friends a lot so I hope that makes her feel connected to her African side, regardless of her skin colour as like you said, their skin doesn’t define their identity or genetics. So anything you can do really to expose them to Ghanaian side is good and I’m sure your son will feel connected to his roots 💗
My girl is mixed (I'm from UK and my partner is UK born but with punjabi heritage) we have had a lot of comments from family that she is very pale (she is a carbon copy of her dad in features though). I think as long as you bring them up knowing their roots they will always embrace their culture and who cares what anyone else thinks! My girl has had a lot of exposure to her roots and knows some punjabi and I'm sure she will love and embrace her mixed culture 😊
My baby is only 10 months old. His dad is Japanese and I’m half Chinese/ half white but he looks pretty much completely Japanese. However, as I mixed race person, I have some experience. Although I’m mixed Asian, everyone thinks I’m Hispanic. In fact, many people don’t even think I’m my baby’s mom and have asked if I’m the babysitter. I think what helped me growing up is my mom (who was Chinese) raised me in the Chinese culture and with that side of the family exposing me to the language and everything else. I always felt like belonged with them. However, that doesn’t mean others treated me the same. I went to Chinese school from 9-12 years old on the weekends and some kids there were very mean to me and my brothers (“Why are Mexicans here learning Chinese?”). In college, a few people (students and professors) would say I only got into college bc of affirmative action and the school needed more Hispanic students. Even when I was a doctoral student….
My daughter is white passing to the point where she has blonde hair, I think my genes just laid down 😄 I have spoken about this to my daughter (she’s 4) and she has said to me that she is mixed brown and white. I try not to focus on it so much, yes you are right other people are fucking weird with their comments but I usually put them in their place, I have zero time for colourist or racist commentary on my child’s skin colour. For now, she understands Indian culture, food and can speak Punjabi. If as she gets older she asks questions I will answer them. Ultimately I want her to know both sides of her heritage so she doesn’t have an identity crisis when older.