Mil demanding to come to new house😕

So im gonna condense this as much as possible. My mil and i have never really seen eye to eye tbh. Shes entitled, lacks accountability and has no respect for boundaries. I mean my partner barely likes his own mother but has to deal with her because thats his mum and hes her only child. Im not even going to get into how she is as a person and the stuff she has said to/about me and made me feel too much but lets say its not someone id want in MY home. Ive finally moved somewhere i can call a home for now as ive been in a shitty housing situation the past year and a half.Its MY house not mine and my partner.My partner just lives with me but its only my name on the tenancy and i went through hell to even get here. Anyway his mum has literally been demanding him that we need to invite her round for dinner and she wants to see the house. I know it might sound harsh but im not inviting her…EVER. Shes the type of person to make you feel uncomfortable and on egg shells in your own comfort place and nit pick what she does and doesn’t like about my house and im just not here for it. Also i have a cat and she hates animals and had the cheek to tell my partner “when i come round you need to lock that thing away”😂😂😂😂i mean i just have to laugh because 1. Nobody invited you and 2. Even if i did invite you the fact you think you can dictate and tell me lock away a CAT is crazy to me😩i just cant she is so unhinged and such bad energy sometimes and i dont want that energy in my home. Am i being mean for that? How do i just nip this in the bud about me not wanting her to come without being too mean?😭

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So you’re not overreacting and I would react similarly tbh. You don’t need to have anyone in your home that you do not want there. Though make sure that your partner is aware that because you are the lease holder AND because of how his mother has treated you that you will not allow her to be present in your home regardless of your presence. It’s important you and your partner are on the same page about this or it will be very problematic in the future. Also a cat hater?!? Who hates cats that much that they can’t ignore them😂

@Gillian thank you because i have always had an issue with being abit of a people pleaser and would give in and put myself in uncomfortable situations just to please others and i just cant do it with this situation😭i have explained to my partner on numerous occasions about not wanting to have his mum round for my reasons and his response is always “ lets just do it to keep her off my back” and i just don’t think its fair and i feel like he puts his mums feelings before mine alot to keep her quiet to avoid headache from her but this is literally my house😩i don’t mind going to hers because i can leave when i want i just dont want her at mine lol. The cat comment was the cherry on top because my cat is was there when i had no1 and has literally got me through so many dark times. It may sound silly to alot of ppl but for me its my reality and id never lock him away. He literally minds his business 😂

Cats are the best lol they also have the best cuddles. Unless she’s anaphylactic to cats she has no right to tell you to lock the cat away since she wouldn’t even be able to enter your home if that were the case. Just set the boundary and do not let people cross it. If anyone crosses your boundaries they get reprimanded for doing so and if they continue to push they get punished in some way for it. I’ve had to keep this way of boundaries with close family myself to keep the peace on things and to prevent anything happening to my daughter.

I'm the one with the toxic mom, so take it from me... Boundaries are necessary!

Neither of my in-laws know where we’re at. They know the town but they’re not getting the address. With the way they have both acted towards me, they are not welcome around me. When we get our own place (currently staying with family) they are not welcome there either. Your home is supposed to be your peace, your sanctuary.

I hope this man is worth the mother he comes with 😂 it’s tough that you have to pull the “my house” card. Would he actually want to invite her over if he doesn’t like her, does he buckle? Depending on what he tells her now you gonna be the bad guy and only draw closer to him. He needs to make sure he tells her HE doesn’t want to invite her.

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