Bitter?

I’m a step mom of two boys. The message below it the biological mother of the boys. Due to summer, we were trying to keep the boys as long as they wanted since they talk about wanting to stay at our place. Now we decided to swap weeks with her such as keeping them the full week. We got them Monday because the weekend she canceled on us. We wanted to keep them today but she got so upset saying that she should be the one to only keep them longer than us. She stated that she can cancel on us & keep them longer. I’m not understanding her point of view & im trying but this sounds really bitter.
Like
Share Mobile
Share
  • Share

Show your support

Unfortunately some women think they have more of a say over the child because they are ‘the mom’. Never understood why women act like this, I am a step mom and a biological mom and I have always told my husband he has as much rights to our children as I do. Neither one of us is more entitled than the other. If this is what she is like then personally I would get something in place that states when you each have them. You can’t live life with her cancelling you having the children whenever she feels like it. It’s not fair for the children either.

@Irona she makes me feel like I’m in the wrong. It sucks, she did tell me that as well. My husband made a chat for us all that we communicate in which makes me have a say in it as well. She said I’m overstepping boundaries and respect her as their mother. But simply she isn’t respecting my husband as a father and me as their step mom. All I’ve been was respectful as I can be and mature enough to communicate.

I feel like I need more context. I wouldn’t call this bitter, but maybe just a mom that wants things her way or to be the primary parent. I’m not saying she’s right, she might be being unreasonable. But I wouldn’t say she’s bitter and I doubt it has anything to do with you.

If you’re not on a court order, I would consider going to court for an official parenting agreement asking for time. If you’re on a court order and you guys have allotted days/ times then yes, she’s doing you a favor by letting you extend into her time.

The exact same thing happened with my husband and his ex. She believed she was 'in charge' and it was always her way or the highway. She used to cancel plans and go against her word when plans were agreed between them both. My husband felt like there was no choice but to go for a court order.

@Rachel & what were the court order based on? What do they consider in the document and what steps were with it

So I don't know if you are in the UK or not but, here we have something called cafcass and they can give you a basic example of an arrangement for co-parenting, so a schedule, pick up and drop off times, when it comes to medical things, holidays, what happens if one of the parents is hospitalised etc. We wrote up one based off a very biased one my husband's ex wrote up but, then my husbands solicitor wrote up an even simpler one but, with specific things he definitely wanted in the agreement. Court order process goes to court meditation first here and mediation outside elf court before that. Everything thankfully stayed at court mediation stage but, it was all legally binding so neither can go against the arrangement. They can defer from it but only if they both agree to it in writing and if they don't agree there must be a good reason.

That’s the bio mother of the kids I would stay out of it and let dad and mom resolve it. At the end of the day the kids are the damaged one if there’s drama so try not to be part of it..

@Luz I usually do most of the time but she included me into it this time

Yeah don’t fall into it

Read more on Peanut
Trending in our community