Can I afford to be a single mum?

I m a single parent,my ex pays £150 a month(well if he wants to).I warn less than you and get top up from Universal credit.Its hard,basic living to be honest but we don't go hungry.i find entertaining kids,clubs etc they cost the most.. I think you will be OK

Thank you, I hope so because I have contemplated waiting another month or two before breaking up with him just so I can get my credit card down to zero and still keep my savings incase of emergencies. My car insurance, mot, servicing are all due at the same time at the end of the year and that’s gona need a lot of money

Yeah I know what you mean.I don't have any savings and don't have a car for that reason.I simply can't afford it.I m sure you cab manage you just need to be cerfull with your spending.I find if I go over mu budget,like I had to renew my passport and that was unexpected expense,it affected me a lot this month.

I've basically always been a single Mum(10 years) I've never ever struggled. It's so worth it for the peace.

@Karina yes I know what you mean, I’m the budgeter and even a little unexpected bill throws the budget off.

@Laurie thank you for this because I have been going back and forth. I have always thought as long as he isn’t cheating there is no reason to leave but the lack of peace and after having just been through a miscarriage in the last week and the lack of support from him has just tipped it over for me.

Oh I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. It really does sound like you'll be better off on your own. It takes courage but you can do it, I promise

@Laurie thank you so much for this. I needed to hear this

If the only thing keeping you with him is money is he really worth it. Personally I would rather be broke. I left my ex and ended up in a refuge all i had was 1 bag of clothes each for me and my 5 year old and his xbox I had a hirecar at the time and was working but gave it up to focus on me and my child I had the hire car taken off me because I could afford it. Now 7 years down the line I'm not rich but I have all my basic needs, a car I own ( it's not new but is a good car ). my kids are happy and honestly I spoil them when I can and I'm in a new (4 year) relationship. I'm not saying it's easy because it's not but it's do able it will take time but if you are that unhappy for it, as your child gets older they will start to see how unhappy you are no matter how hard you try to hide it. I'm so sorry you are going through this but you will find love again, it may be a new partner or just love for your new life and yourself and child

Honestly because he's not contributing and the way he is acting I would get a divorce and become a single parent. I've been a single parent for almost 7 years. Going on 8 years next year and my ex-husband never helped with phone bill. Buying things needed didn't help with gas that was put in the truck that was given to me

@kylie thank you for sharing your story, I’m so glad you and your kids are happy and in a safe place ❤️

@Neisa so he actually is currently contributing ( he transfers his whole pay check to me every month) and he allows me budget our finances as I’m better at handling money and most of the bills comes out of my account. My concern is for when he moves out and gets his own place, then it will just be my salary.

It will just be your salary depending on if you guys sign your taxes jointly. If you don't get a divorce and you guys just end up separating and having your child go from one house to the other which would be $50. Then if you file taxes then you would put him on your taxes. Same with your kids but if you guys get a divorce and everything then you don't file him on your taxes. You just filed your guys's kids, especially if you guys don't end up sharing joint custody or 50 custody and you end up getting soul custody

Take him to child maintenance .then he’ll have to pay the right amount to support his kids. Also look at all your bills and cut down on optional things

@Neisa in the uk we don’t file our own taxes so it’s different here and we are not legally married. I doubt he would ask for joint custody because even where is here home I’m the default parent

@Jay yes I have thought about this, I have tried to figure out how much child maintenance would actually give me, I know it can be a long process and I might need to pay legal fees. So my estimate of £2250 only includes essentials (mortgage, council tax, light&gas, my insurances, water, Wi-Fi, car payments, food) with the exception of £11 for Netflix which wouldn’t make too much of a difference and I wouldn’t want to cancel that as that’s all I watch, I do not have normal television.