Help advice needed
Would you marry your husband to be if they haven't put a penny towards the wedding?
Back story..
We have been together for 10 plus years, we have 3 kids, and I have 3 that aren't his from previous relationships.
In that time, he's been in and out of work and not been able to hold anything down the past few years.
When we started the whole wedding planning he had an amazing job farming and we loaned 1000 off my mum to put deposit down on this massive venue, for one reason and another he lost his job and so I did the brave thing and cancelled the wedding to look for something smaller and more intimate.
He found another job local to our house, but again, this year, he walked out after he found out he was on a list to dismiss due to not enough work in.
He's now currently not working 😕
He's paying zero towards rent bills or anything towards shopping etc never mind anything towards wedding.
I have my bridemaids chosen. He can't even be bothered to ask anyone.
I've bought my dress, paid for alterations, paid for bridesmaids, dresses, and gifts for bridemaids, and paid for deposit on after do place. My mum has given us money to pay off the after do, and now she wants to pay for giving notice fees.
He's going to the job centre every week to look for work, but each week is the same. no progress getting back to work.
Our wedding date is 24th October 2024.
I just don't know what to do.
Do I just carry on paying for everything myself or stand my ground and say nope this isn't fair on me or my mum feelings she's got to do everything for us."
I honestly don't know how I feel anymore as this in and out of work has gone on for years and led to a lot of debt, which were only just in the process of getting sorted.
Almost feel numb. Thought of being back on my own and ending the relationship has crossed my mind.
To add, there's still
£1500 for after do to pay off
His suit and shoes to buy
My eldest lads to suit up and shoes
Our girls and my daughter to buy shoes for.
And centrepieces plus signage.
And cake!!
I'm self-employed working running a small jewellery business that doesn't always bring in regular work, which uc top up.
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Personally I’d be firstly asking myself if this man is someone I want to marry.
If it’s a yes, then I would be postponing the wedding. It’s not fair on you to pay for it all or your Mum. This is supposed to be a fun and happy time for you both and it doesn’t sound it from what you’re saying. I’d discuss it with him & say you want to take the pressure off and it might be best pushing the wedding back so you can both contribute and pay for the day you want xx
Problem is this is second time we've pursponed and majority is paid off. That's where the problem lies.
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