STRONG WILLED STUBBORN KIDS moms tap in please i need advice
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My son is the same way. I’ve actually gone as far as to talk with his doctor about it because I was also concerned. He said that at this age range it is very common for boys to act out and this is due to them having peaked levels of testosterone. He also told me that they usually grow out of it. What his doctor told me actually made me feel a lot better. I felt like I was doing something wrong. However with that being said it is so exhausting! What has worked for my son is I give him choices it may not include what he wanted but it gives him the opportunity to feel like he’s chosen whatever it is. Also there is something to be said about distractions, it works wonders for my son when he’s about to have a temper tantrum. But even though these things may work for me and my son everybody is different. I hope you’re able to find something to help if you’ve already tried my suggestions. Just remember that you’re doing a great job!
@Lauren I didn’t know this at all. My next idea was to talk to his doctor so that was really helpful. Thank you but we didn’t say you give him options. Can you give me an example like a scenario and what options you give him?
@Jessica so what do you mean by addressing the but not the emotion like so how would I go about disciplining that and keeping his body moving or like punching a pillow dancing things like that would actually work I didn’t think about that
@Brittany addressing the emotion means to figure out what he's feeling and why. Is he hungry, thirsty, tired? Is he needing connection? Is he mad about not getting something he really wanted? The discipline part is dependent on what works best for you and your family. My kid does well (mostly) when we redirect instead of trying to control him. Sometimes it's playing or tickling, sometimes it's playing on the swing set together. Sometimes we listen to or make up silly songs like about farts and poop. Danny Go on YouTube is awesome!
@Jessica okay yeah i been trying that sometimes i give up because he refuse’s to talk but i definitely gotta do better on my end so thank you and i’ll check it out!
@Jessica but one more question so if he was to slam something down cause he got mad you just redirect him ? u dont disciple him or tell him he was wrong? cause i’ll try figuring out what’s wrong and after i’ll tell him like you have a right to feel angry we all get angry but you can’t slam things that’s not what we do and then i’ll move on
@Brittany so glad that was helpful. So like my son and I will like to sit together and watch tv when it’s time to wind down (yes not ideal but it’s our cuddle time and it works for us) he usually always wants to watch something very stimulating which is not the goal at that time so I’ll give him the option of watching Doctor Pol, or Secrets of the Zoo. Both are things he does like but aren’t too stimulating. Sorry I didn’t clarify that in the first comment!
In my experience, this is a continuous stage. There's not a fix all. I think it's hard for us because it's certainly not how we were raised. It takes time to learn to self regulate. There are some tools to try and give a child a way to regulate. Don't address the behavior, address the emotion. Strong wills are a gift and shouldn't just be stumped out. For mine, I'm trying to only discipline for the misbehaving that occurs during being upset. Emotions are good and healthy but he's not allowed to hurt others or break things. Breathing techniques, punching pillows, moving our bodies, maybe dancing. Your LO is experiencing emotions and is trying to figure out what to do with them.