Sons name change

It’s totally okay to grieve the change in expectation and past identity, and this often is best done privately so your daughter can focus on her new presentation and transition to her new identity expression. One way to do this is sometimes people have a private ceremony (think like a funeral for the expectations, not the person) on their own, or write a letter to the past identity, or talking about it with a therapist or in a parents of queer family members group. I’d also recommend to start using your daughters new name and pronouns as soon as possible to get used to the shift, and intentionally correct yourself if you slip up. One thing that can feel really hurtful is if a trans person finds out their loved ones have been misgendering them or misnaming them in private or to others ((the only exceptions being if your daughter hasn’t come out to others yet))

Something that might help is if she hasn’t decided on a name yet is thinking about what you would have named a baby girl. Remember when we got pregnant we may have hoped for a boy or a girl but we wanted a healthy happy baby and that’s still the goal. It’s okay to grieve the change but this is your child who is growing into a young woman.

He gave his school the name change did not find out til I went to the play of his but we knew along he was gay I do like a little bit idea name change party

I am not transgender and hate my legal first name. It never felt right to me and I don’t fit it. My parent was never and has never been supportive of me changing it. There is no way my parent could go about being unsupportive without being hurtful. Likewise, if my parent didn’t use my preferred pronouns I would also be hurt. You get through this by accepting that you are not in control of anyone other than yourself. You consider what unconditional love looks like and if that is something you want your child to feel they have from you. You prioritize their happiness in their own life over your expectations of what their life should be. You engage in therapy to navigate complicated feelings so that your child is not weighed down by an adults judgment or disappointments.

@Sandra seems you’re still using he pronouns and calling him gay (not the same thing as trans? Maybe you should do some research on transitioning so you can be a little more accepting.

Explain the difference? Transition either I accept and have my girl or lose them forever

@Sandra transitioning typically refers to when a person “transitions” from one gender presentation to another. Transitioning can look different in a number of different ways: medical transitioning (taking hormone replacement medication, genital surgery, plastic/facial surgery), social transitioning (changing names, pronouns, hair or clothing styles, voice training to speak lower or higher/more masculine or feminine, etc). For many people this is a slow process that takes time, so it’s a transition versus a one and done change. You can see the effects of this if you ever watch a time lapse video of trans people recording the various stages in the process