in Mom's going through divorce/separation/ breakups

Husband suddenly wants a divorce

After 10 years of marriage, my husband realized that he was never happy and possibly isn’t even in love with me anymore. We had the same issues as everyone else, nothing drastic like infidelity. He said he’s feeling suffocated. We have 2 kids, 8 and 5 years old. And I’m 6 weeks pregnant. I still love him so much and thought we were happy. We started marriage counseling and only went once but he says he may not go anymore because he really just wants to split up. We’re going to divide everything 50/50 and he promises to help with everything- child support, etc. But he can’t move out until we sell our house because there’s just no money for that. I’m a stay at home mom. My life is such a mess right now. I’m suppose to be happy right now as this was a planned pregnancy! Instead I have to prepare myself for a life as a single mom of 3. How will I handle the newborn phase on my own? I feel such despair. And how is it possible to be this blind and not see that he’s been unhappy our entire marriage? How can he just flip a switch like that and not love me anymore? I thought we were going to grow old together. There has never been an indication that he may want to leave. Up until 2 weeks ago he was telling me how much he loves me. I’m so confused and hurt.

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Sorry to tell you, but he might be seeing someone else. For him to decide that he was never happy and doesn’t love u anymore out of nowhere especially when you’re pregnant, and it was a planned pregnancy 🤐 I’m so sorry you’re going through this it must be really hard

I considered this too but he insists there is no one else. I really do believe he’s been unhappy and didn’t realize to what extent. But I guess it’s certainly possible that he’s lying. He’s basically saying now that he doesn’t know who he is or what he wants.

I do y understand why he would plan a baby with you and then decide it’s not what he wants, I feel really sorry for you and I do agree with the above comment I think there was motivation for this.

Is it a mid life crisis thing? Like he may have thought he would be somewhere else in life at this point? And projecting the filling of unfillement toward you? And just wants to flip his life upside down for something new amd change his life up? Idk, just trying to rationalize, it. I think even if he doesn't want to do marriage counseling maybe individual therapy will help him. I am sorry you are going threw this. This has turned your life upside down as well and the journey threw this is a hard one 😥 I am sorry. Maybe individual therapy can help you too threw this journey as well and help you greive the life you thought you would have if your husband.

@Shelley I think it might be some sort of mid life crisis. He’s feeling suffocated. Even though he doesn’t want to go to therapy anymore, I will still go and I’m going to suggest that he does individual therapy as well.

@Krisie It’s possible that he has someone in mind. I have no way of knowing. But you’re right in saying that it makes sense to plan a third child (which took 6 months to conceive after a miscarriage!) to then realize that he’s never been happy and wants out.

My ex-husband had an affair with his colleague when he was telling that I suffocate him. Good his new wife that made him cut out mutual friends doesn’t suffocate him 🤡

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m going through a similar situation, my husband of 9 years just wants to end our marriage. Like he can just turn on a switch and no longer loves me. We’ve had our share of arguments and I’ve told him all couples argue, but just so hurt that he can let the bad times outweigh all our good memories. I also feel blindsided, like I didn’t see this coming. He’s not willing to go to couples therapy and can just easily give up on my son and I. I’m here if you want to talk. It truly is hurtful and I feel bad you’re going through this.

@Dina the same happened to me and 3 months after he left me while pregnant with our second, he got together with his coworker. He was saying the same thing about just not realizing how unhappy he was and everything. He could be telling the truth, but maybe be prepared in case it's not. It's not easy regardless and I'm so sorry you're going through this.