Depression

If things reverse n u worked he was home would you prefer talk to him on it 🫶 maybe ….. Dm if you would like don’t feel on your own 🫂

@Aud I love my daughter and staying with her, it’s just that he doesn’t help me with her what so ever, I wake up with her I make her breakfast lunch dinner. I play with her, I put her down for her naps, I change her (in 8 months he’s probably changed her 3 times) I give her bath I put her to sleep I wake up in the night with her , this is every day 7 days a week

I’m sorry hun, I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to get through things without any help. I know this isn’t any advice on how your partner can help out at home but have you made any mummy friends in the area you live in. Having a great tribe really helps the process a lot more. I don’t think my mental health would’ve been good without my mummy friends

Could you maybe go home for a little holiday. Having a break away might do you some good. I was in a similar situation but my ex never worked. I ended up splitting up with him for other reasons aswell as him never helping. Going home for a week might be good for you and then go back after to him x

@Jade he won’t allow me to take my child anywhere overnight

He won’t allow is sus

Can in law or mum friend come over n u do shifts

@Aud my MIL has same schedule as my partner as in she works nights, my mums passed away and I have no friends

When you say he won't allow you, do you mean he will physically stop you or just say he doesn't want you going away overnight with your daughter? I'm really sorry you're going through this.

@Aisha he’s never been physical, I assume he’s just saying it. All the time I bring up how I feel he turns it back on himself and tells me how he feels the exact same blah blah blah basically never ever even cares to ask me how I feel or how he can make me better without making me feel like I shouldn’t be feeling upset and I should be greatful for what I have

It's horrible of him to do that to you. I'm still going through postpartum depression and have little help with my daughter, so I know how difficult it can be. My daughter is almost 2 (literally in a few days), so I know you NEED a supportive partner to get through this. Have you tried to mention going to stay with your family for a few days? He seems manipulative from what you've said, unfortunately. Could you try speaking to your MIL and see if she can have a word?

@Aisha my MIL is over at ours a lot she can see everything, I have mentioned I want to go stay at my sisters etc and he’s told me I can’t take my baby over night

May I ask if it's a cultural thing where the men from his culture don't help? I'm not making excuses for him. I'm just trying to work out if he's an idiot why his mum can't see sense. I'd just say I'm going for a week and leave. If he's not willing to help, then why should you have to work around everything he has to say. Consider whether this relationship is something you'd like to continue because it seems like it's going to remain difficult IF he doesn't correct his behaviour.

U can take ur baby overnight. It’s ur baby and it’s not like ur moving away without dad’s permission.

@Aisha no it’s not a cultural thing I think he doesn’t doesn’t want to parent, I have thought to leave so so many times but I have no where to go, my sister had 2 kids and is pregnant, I don’t have parents as mum has passed and dad is in a whole different country, I don’t have any money in my name either so it sucks to be stuck

I'm so sorry to hear that. It might be worth trying to get some money saved up without him knowing, of course, as a safety net so that if you decide you want to leave, you can. I'm not sure where you are in the world, but in the UK, there is help for women to get away from controlling men. I'd try to broach the topic of visiting with your sister and see how he takes it. Personally, I don't think I'd stay with someone like that, but I'm not actually facing the situation, and I'm just looking at it from an outside perspective. If you need to talk, feel free to message me at any time. I'm truly sorry you're facing this.