I was like this for a long time. I spent 6 years of my life dating. I kept getting my heart broke (but that’s the dating game). It hospitalized me at one point because I was so depressed over a relationship ending. After I left the hospital I realized how stupid I was all those years. How much time/patience/experiences all trashed. I worked out more, stopped being on my phone as much, ate better, went on alot of walks. Sometimes it takes a lot of time and pain to give up on the idea of love. I did. I was about to up and move to anywhere I was ready to run from my past. Then I met my bd/fiance. I didn’t want to date. I said no many times. Eventually my wall broke, I gave in. Take time to heal from the past, see a therapist, and focus on all that love u wanna give to others and give it to you. You deserve it. A man will see that and be attracted to you when you aren’t looking for it. One day my friend, give it time 💛
I'm in the same situation. It definitely makes you feel like shit, but what I have learnt recently is to take a step back from all the toxic people and work on yourself and focus on the kids, and set boundaries for yourself and don't let anyone disrespect you and again. Learn to love yourself and be alone cause once someone comes into your life, they will be worth it and will match your energy as well.
I also want to have my love energy matched because it has also always been way more than i get back. It's me who makes the cute gestures, is super thoughtful & loves to surprise with meaningful things. I don't get any of that & yes, I am a bit jealous of those who are loved like a beautiful fairytale. My relationships have always been boring from the males affection side 🙃