Overreacting if cousins (kids) want to hold my 3mo baby

You’re her mum and if you’re uncomfortable with something then it’s never ott. I feel like all we can do is trust our instincts when it comes to our kids and if anyone else doesn’t like that then that’s fine they don’t have to see your baby. I find it difficult speaking up sometimes when relatives do things I’m uncomfortable with but we have to remember that our babies are little humans with feelings, not a toy to please other people, and that they can’t speak up for themselves so we have to be their voice 🥰 I think being protective of your baby can never be wrong it shows you’re a good mum who is looking out for what is best for your little girl

Not being ott and honestly I have told kids at family functions that they can’t hold my kid because they have big kid germs and big kid germs can make my baby seriously ill. The one boy was literally rubbing his sniffles on his hand🤮 like first off clearly bad hygiene practice and second I don’t need my baby going to the nicu. Tell them no and tell them big kid germs can hurt little kids since we can’t see the germs and you dont want to have a sick baby (use whatever kid language you need to but I’m pretty abrupt with it usually). I refuse to let anyone hold her if I don’t know them and if they have symptoms of anything they don’t get to hold her either. Kids are germ factories and those germ factories do not get to hold babies who have no immune system

There is nothing wrong with not wanting people in your baby’s face or having other kids hold her. My particular family we have 2 other kids (one almost 12 and one almost 2) and both of them hold our (almost) 3 month old baby. We’ve had other relatives come visit who have smaller children and we have let them hold the baby as well. But, it’s all based on your judgement and comfortability. Of course for us, these are family members that we are close to and trust so we know they would never put our baby in harms way. I will also add, that with us having a toddler in the house it’s almost impossible for us to keep the germs away from the littlest one and he’s been fine.

Thank you for all your replies They were following me upstairs for nappy change and then breathing all over her face whenver they talked to her above her face an inch away. I said so many times keep your distance keep your distance but again they ran around and back to the same thing and the mom was there. But she was stopping them from touching her face but them being so close above her face and talking so closely and inch away it’s like all the germs falling on her! And to maintain relationships as they do so much for us and I get on with them it’s just so difficult as you don’t want to offend them.

How would you deal with people like that? Without offending the parents your close with (in laws side)

@Aman with nappy changes I will always tell the person trying to follow how would you like it if you were naked in front of a stranger. Babies deserve privacy too

@Aman the kids I told no we’re on my partners side of the family and I’ve stopped caring if it offends people because if it’s your boundary then they can either respect it or never see your child again. That’s how I function. Even had to treat my mother the same and tell her not to kiss my child because I don’t want her getting sick

@Gillian totally agree! My own nephews wouldn’t even do that much and would listen once if I was to say keep a distance while leaning over her again and again speaking to her. I feel I need to set boundaries for people and if it was my side I would tell them. But I don’t get these people have had kids I thought they’d know the things going around in schools etc and not even wash their hands etc

Also they all went up because they wanted to see and be involved with nappy change 🤦🏻‍♀️

Aww hell no I would be soo upset 😭

@Aman yeah no one but mom and dad or the caregivers needs to be involved in a nappy change. When kids are old enough to baby sit teaching them is one thing but to not allow kids privacy is another. Kids are usually super innocent and don’t understand why we provide privacy for little ones and bless their hearts that they don’t know why we have to but it’s still something that should just be common sense even for a kid

This was me when i first had my baby girl. My anxiety was exactly like this the first 3/4 months. I used to take my girl away and pretend i need to go to the room and feed her or change or put her to sleep or some kind of excuse and then not go back down. My mum’s also understanding so she’d make excuses for me too that i’m tired and having a lye in with the baby etc just to avoid them 😫 But i’ve calmed down a lot now. Before i was like a psycho if anyone even coughed near her 😂

Omg yes I was this way with my daughter. My MIL was letting EVERYONE hold my daughter. She would come up and try to take a sleeping baby out of my arms. She let my husband's niece (12 at the time) hold the baby and the baby squirmed and she dropped my baby on the floor at 2 weeks old. I'm super possessive of my second baby and don't let many people home him. It helps that he's breastfed and has really attached himself to me. We will 'cut the cord' one day but he's literally a baby. He was in my body and I'm the one familiar thing in his life. My MIL kept telling me I need to cut the cord and I said 'thats strange, I thought your son did that in the hospital.' You advocate for your baby and you tell people exactly what you need to so your baby can stay safe.

@Alyssa omg dropped your baby?!!! I would be fuming and upset. Hope they were ok?!

@Aman thankfully baby was okay. We were in the ER getting checked out most of the night. I was crying because I was so mad. My MIL was mad at me for yelling at her when she already felt bad. Did you not just see her drop my baby. I'm going to be Mad

You’re not OTT. Whatever is too much for you, you need to voice it. Advocate for your baby and if they take offence, it’s their problem, not yours. I wouldn’t be ok with those things either and for someone who can be very much a pushover, I’ve been quite vocal for my baby and it took people by surprise 😆