Potty training, is this normal for our special kids?

i’m in the same boat , i’m just going to stick to it and be patient for a couple weeks if nothing changes going to stop training as i don’t want to force / overwhelm him , do what you think is best walking you all the luck it is very hard when they can’t communicate 😢❤️

Yes! It’s not really normal persay; but it is common!! Specifically if your son has asd! People with neurodivergences & autism more specifically often have poor interoception!!! “Interoception is an internal sensory system in which the physical and emotional states of the person are consciously or unconsciously noticed, recognised and responded to” https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/interoception-wellbeing

Your best bet in helping counter act the learned behavior of potty in diapers being the standard, and help him learn his own bodily signals may be modified elimination communication methods! I’d fear if you wait longer to try to figure out his signals or schedule it’ll only become a bigger issue in the future but truly it’s whatever you’re comfortable & confident doing!

My 6 year old has been doing great but this morning and other random mornings he will be awake and playing in his room with his sister then he’ll come downstairs smelling like pee. The point where it’s already set in the mattress and I have to get out the shampooer. I explain to him that he needs to tell me so I can clean it up but he just stares at me because he’s all freaked out that I have to clean him up in the shower. 😫 He does good at school though, he makes sure he knows where the bathroom is and takes the hall pass.

Mine is 4 and we’ve been trying off and on. One thing that is starting to work is rewarding him when he tells me he’s wet/dirty. I haven’t taken his pull ups yet as I did about a year ago and it didn’t go well. Planning on trying again soon. I’ve been trying to get him in the habit by offering stickers for behaviors : 2 for sitting in the potty, 1 for pulling pants up or down, one for telling me he has to go or is wet/dirty, 3 for pee, etc. He’s finally understanding the sticker thing and gets a prize from the box when he fills the chart. I plan to add a sweet treat when I start training again.

My 6 year old is still in pull up diapers cause he will pee and poo in potty when he wants but then will go in diaper 5-10 mins later anyways so I don't dare go to underwear or he will ruin every pair

Thanks everyone for sharing, so would you say my son isn't quite ready yet? He also cannot keep dry, constantly weeing

“Regardless of age, the development of interoception can slow down or even stop for autistic people. It is not known why this happens, although it may be due to a self-protection mechanism associated with trauma. Many autistic people experience trauma, and this may halt or lower their interoceptive awareness.” so realistically it could be a long term issue your son deals with throughout life with it going on & off again, it’s unsure of why it occurs at all, but I don’t think there’s such thing as too early or not ready for potty training, it’s just about the parents preferences, lifestyle & privilege of time! the best bet is to do your best you can in helping him develop interoception awareness! would likely look like learning his signals for needing to go to the bathroom before you expect him to know them or act on them! But consult any doctors or specialists you’ve seen if you feel totally lost or confused!

Thank you Parker, super helpful! Do you have any suggestions on how I can get him.to understand his body signals? I've ordered some flash cards and a visual schedule for the bathroom. Have put him back in pull ups and going to take him to the bathroom less often today. Maybe 5 or 6x to relieve the pressure

If you’ve got the time & resources you can try some days where you go pantsless with him and just try to watch him as he goes about his day & try to catch the signals before bodily functions take place, or if you miss the timing of making it to the potty you’ll at least have more info on what the signals were before the accident! If you don’t have the space or time for that; You can also try putting cotton training pants on under his diapers so he feels the wetness instead of it being immediately absorbed like it would in the diaper alone! (Without spillage & leaks & on the floor accidents) Could help trip the switch in his head that bodily functions are occurring! That’s how my mom potty trained me back in the day (:

Oh that's a good tip regarding training pants under diapers. I have a 1 year old so letting him free will be a bit difficult but the second option sounds good

Understandable!! I’ve got carpet flooring so I go with the second one too! 🤭 i wish you guys so much luck! Just also would be gnawing at me if I didn’t re-emphasis that even if progress gets made regression is a possibility & it’s not a failing on anyone’s part!! Using pull ups is a-ok as long as you’re both comfortable!

Oh oh oh and another helpful tip, is making up songs about it. The whole process; 🎶from drinking in fluids, to the fluids hanging out, to your body being reaaaaady to peeeeeeeeeee. From the food going in, food helping you grow, food is digested, time to try n pooooooop🎶 could be very helpful to his brain! Both in learning & processing the actual process he’s experiencing when doing bodily functions but also explaining what causes said functions! Another suspected reason for poor interoception is PDA pathological demand avoidance! & people who struggle with such a thing sometimes need to understand an entire concept from start to finish before their brains will even let them give it a go!

Thanks so much parker you've been so so so helpful! He has PDA so that makes sense!!

Of course!!! 🫶🏼🥰 love being helpful whenever I can be! My inbox is always open if ya ever needed or wanted to reach out for any more help or support!

Had an extra thought again with the added info of the pda! Definitely approach pottying conceptually from start to finish & emphasizing that it’s just how bodies work & we need to work with it! And of course trying not to make accidents a big deal, but also not making the biggest deal in the world when progress is made either! Like definitely count any win as a win, but sometimes even a happy reaction can be too much of a reaction to the brain of someone with pda. Basically Make it a personal achievement! “Look at you listening to your body!! Good job!” 👍🏼 Not a ~goal~ he’s working towards! “Yay! you went potty on the toilet” 👎🏼

Thank you that's super helpful advice!! And totally makes sense!

Oooof course! (: again wishing y’all the best of luck in your potty endeavors! 🫶🏼

This is a bit off topic, but how do you know if your child has PDA? We’ve been working on potty training for a year and a half and he is able to do but only when he wants to. His therapist thought he might be oppositional. We struggle with daily things because he doesn’t like being asked or told to follow rules. Is this separate from being on the spectrum? My son was just diagnosed and we’re still trying to figure things out

So I've spoken to various professionals about his need for own autonomy and doing things only on his terms. He tends to lash out when asked to do something and putting any pressure regarding the said task. They mentioned he's got PDA which is common with children on the spectrum. I find that letting him think he is making the decisions and asking him if he wants to do xyz helps!

Thank you!