Taking care of toddler + newborn

I have a 3 year old and 2 month old. My 2 month old will only contact sleep, she refuses to sleep in her cot. My husband has had 12 weeks off work to help out which has been a luxury because then one of us can attend to our toddler while the other has the baby. Usually my husband is taking our toddler out or playing with him in another room while baby is asleep on top of me. I have absolutely no idea how I will attend to both kids once he returns to work. If my baby slept in her cot it would be manageable but I can’t have her sleeping on top of me and playing with my toddler at the same time because my toddler is loud when he plays and wakes baby up. Any tips on how to meet both children’s needs once husband returns to work?

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Can you baby wear and get her used to the noise of your toddler? If not, can you be firmer in your cot transitions? White noise helps me drown out outside noise. Once she has a floppy arm when she’s asleep, start trying to transfer her to a bassinet where you spend most of your time.

I didn’t have this issue BUT a lot of times when my son was a newborn and infant he loved being in his swing and he would fall asleep in there a lot. Maybe you can try that?

Mixture of baby wearing, swing sleeping (supervised) and good old screen time for my oldest. We also adapted so I could lay on the couch with bubs sleeping on my and I could read or play one handed with my oldest. Going to walks was also great (providing bubs sleeps in the pram) you do manage and you'll find what works for you :)

I remember when my daughter immediately woke up when i put her in her bassinet BUT if it was my husband getting her to sleep and transferring her to bassinet she was all good. Maybe try swapping after a feed. He had baby and you have toddler. Might help create a routine. And slowly add things that might help. Put a tiny towel or wipe you have slept with in her bed. Add white sound. Etc. So once you're the one doing it your baby might be more used to it and happier since it was gradual change?

I had a cling monster too lol, you could try doing naps lying down on the bed with baby next to you and gradually work up to being able to sleep without you there. We were able to transition to cot around 3-4 months.

I have a 3 month old and 2 year old. I mainly baby wore the first few months. Baby wouldn’t wake if on me and if he started to stir I would pop the dummy back in and jiggle/sway/walk around til he was back asleep. He wouldn’t transfer to the bassinet either until the past few weeks. I started a sleep/nap routine at two months and now at 3 months it’s much easier to get him down in the bassinet so I think that helped. Also I would feed side lying on the bed and then he’d fall asleep and I wouldn’t have to transfer and wake. Then I’d watch on the monitor. I also put something on TV for my 2 yo and watch him on the monitor while settling baby in room.

My partner had 7 weeks off and I had the same concerns but you work out systems.

I think you'll have to drop your expectations a little. Rotate toys or have baskets where new toys come out when your newborn needs a nap, use the TV as a "babysitter" when you need a little break/strategically, go out to the playground and baby wear. I would also play music when at home. Babies love to sleep with white noise around them/background music so that can help if your older child is making a lot of loud noises. It's ok if it feels like a wild zoo at times, as long as everyone is safe, fed and loved you're doing great. 👍🏻