Is it weird to bring up the past in your relationship?

So my bf and I have been together five years both pregnancies he cheated on me with the same girl. He’s also slapped me a couple of times for mentioning it especially when he’s been on the phone with other girls and I’ve spoken to him. We have two boys a 19 month old and 4 month old and I’m just so drained. I’ve moved back to my parents and live in their outhouse and have been for the past 7 months but I’ve been trying to make it work because I just don’t want to feel like I didn’t try for the sake of my sons. However when I bring up something or try to talk to my bf or his mum they shut me down and tell me I am wrong for being combative. If I truly wanted to move on I wouldn’t bring it up and that’s all I keep being told. I’m just so over at this point and I don’t want judgement but is it weird I keep mentioning it?

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Leave him. File for cs and move on with your life with your sons. No man who loves you will put his hands on you, cheat repeatedly, and gaslight you. You deserve so much better than this. You don’t want to model this behavior to your boys- that they can mistreat a woman, step over them, and worse to allow themselves to be abused in future relationships.

He's abusive. Don't stay. If he can't handle hearing his past actions harmed you then he's not ready to grow and change from his past history.

Girl you did try, at this point he has no respect for you & will keep doing it. Having the conversation with him isn’t even worth it

I was with a serial cheater and it won’t change honey and clearly you can’t move on. I’d leave. Make a better life for yourself and your kids

If he’s not willing to take accountability or be remorseful than you know where he stands. Your going to have to decide if you just want to stop bringing it up or move on because he obviously is not willing to be there abt it to make you feel better he’s just being defensive

He’s abusive. No need to keep trying. You move on by getting away from him and raising your sons to be nothing like him. Ps: he continues to cheat so no you aren’t weird for still mentioning it.

Girl nooo!! Your boys can still have a relationship with their dad without you being in a relationship with him. I suggest you stay where you are and leave him. His actions are enough to know he doesn't really care. Why would he harm you when he was in the wrong speaking to other girls etc.

I agree with everyone else he’s abusive leave! However, to answer your question since you’re being gaslit by him and his mother, no it’s not especially if you’re trying to work through it and resolve it to move forward. It would only be weird if it had been resolved and worked through and you’re bringing it up to be petty. Being gaslit sucks and I know sometimes you just need someone to tell you you’re not crazy so you can see it. You’re not crazy. They are.

He slapped you? You mean metaphorically right? Like he dismissed your view. Because none of the rest of the story would matter if he physically put his hands on you for any reason. Your children deserve better. Don’t stay with him for the children. Leave him alone for the children. You know how traumatizing it is for a child to watch their mother be abused. Even when a mother is yelled at, it does psychological trauma to children. Love them enough to walk away. They don’t deserve this kind of baggage. You’re about to mess up their whole potential to have healthy relationships for the rest of their lives because you can’t leave their trash father alone. I’m sorry to be so harsh but I want to reach through the phone and save you and your kids. I can’t do that so I hope the truth grabs you for me.

I would collect evidence of abuse if you can. It could help to get full custody. I personally wouldn't want my kids to live with someone like that. He can get visitation rights if he wants. Try to text more than call. Texts can be used as evidence.

Stay w your parents dear. Leave mum and son to date themselves tf. Don't go back and don't dare have another child w him. You have every right to go back to where the hurt comes from. All men who are pos never want to deal w what they did. So tell them NO I will not forget what you did but he'll have to deal w it too if you're to move forward. But I hope you stay away.

Absolutely not weird. My partner made a mistake about a year and a half ago and I still bring it up. Whilst not as much now as he’s never given me a reason to doubt his actions now. He will listen to me and explain he understands why I feel that way but knows mentioning it is a healthy thing and it’s me trying to move past everything. I’d leave that man! He’s clearly no respect and doesn’t want to move past it. I’d be surprised if he wasn’t still sleeping with that girl in all honesty. He should also never lay a finger on you. You and your boys deserve so much better. Don’t stay for the kids if they’re going to see an unhappy relationship where the dad is violent. 2 happy homes is better than 1 unhappy one. They’d then also grow up thinking it’s ok to treat women that way and I’m sure you don’t want that. You deserve much more lovely x