Totally unscheduled, help! Enough sleep?

Mines the same 🥺 following 💕

To build a new sleep association, you need to start by doing it while feeding, then cut back on the feeding and stick with the new routine, which you're already doing, but it takes time (like weeks). If you really want to stop feeding to sleep (you don't have to unless you want to), you can expect some crying unfortunately. It’s not a tantrum (he’s too young for that); it’s just the only way he has to shows his feelings. The idea of self soothing is a myth from the sleep training industry lol. Babies can't self soothe bc the part of the brain that regulates emotions doesn’t start developing until they’re 6 or 7 years old and isn’t finished until 25. Some babies are just more adaptable and easygoing and don’t need much help to calm down, while others aren’t like this, it’s just their temperament. Also, some babies need less sleep than average. If he’s happy during the day, feeds well, keeps developing, and learns new skills, he’s getting enough sleep.

If you really want to stop feeding to sleep, you’ll need to deal with some crying, unfortunately. It’s the only way he can communicate his feelings. Always stay with him and support him during this time and eventually he’ll get used to it. If you can, ask your partner to help put him down, since baby knows he can't have milk from him. Again, you don’t have to do anything unless you want to (and not be a someone says you have to) because you’re the one that will have to endure the crying (I had to stop feeding through the night because of daughter’s medical condition and the first nights she was crying so much and for so long that I ended up crying with her because I really couldn’t give it to her, so you need to be 100% sure otherwise you’ll end up giving in)

Just to add, giving baby a schedule has nothing to do with how you put them down to sleep 😅 If you want to change the way you put him down you also might expect a bit of change in the schedule as he’s might won’t fall asleep until he’s completed exhausted from crying. If I were you, I’d try first to establish a bit of a routine at first (if that’s your priority), putting him down in the fastest and easiest way possible (so with a feed or contact nap), to achieve an earlier bedtime. But consider that if he goes to bed earlier he might wake up earlier 😅 It all depends on what is that you want first. Routine or cut the feed to sleep? (Sorry for the long post x)

I don't think I'm too bothered about the schedule; if he's getting enough sleep that's alright. And I know that technically I'm doing the natural thing letting him feed to sleep but I think it would be nice to put him down without that, and have my husband or mum be able to put him down too. I just really don't like the idea of him crying for so long. But what's the alternative? He's still feeding to sleep at 2 years old? Me laid on the nursery floor waiting for him to doze off while my husband waits downstairs for our evening to start?

@Alex unfortunately if he wants to feed to sleep and you don’t want to the only option is to be strong and listen to him crying until he gets used to it (it might need just a day, a week or a month depends on the child). Having someone else who can help you it’s great. You might try to reduce the feeding time gradually but he still might protest at first, it’s totally normal. If you keep supporting him while he cries there’s nothing wrong in it, it’s not like Ferber where he cries by himself, if you’re worried about that x

It’s biologically normal to feed to sleep. I’ve fed to sleep from birth and around 8 months baby stopped feeding to sleep 95% of the time and wanting to be rocked instead (my back realllly wishes he’d still feed to sleep!) They all get there in their own time naturally, some sooner than others. He will still nurse overnight to link sleep cycles. As others have said if you want to stop feeding to sleep the reality is baby will be upset. Feeding to sleep is all they’ve ever known so taking that away from them will be upsetting as they don’t understand why. Your baby sounds like they’re just low sleep needs and that’s okay. If they’re happy between wake windows then chances are they’re getting enough sleep. Follow babies sleepy cues not a routine if you can. It’s futile trying to put a baby to sleep who isn’t tired, even if you manage they’ll just wake continuously as their sleep pressure isn’t high enough.