Likely to get a lot of abuse but…

We lost a pregnancy in Feb this year and have fallen pregnant again. I’m now 11 weeks and I feel really disconnected and indifferent about this pregnancy. I know it’s going to be hard if we add a 3rd child and I’ve even considered terminating. My husband says it’s my choice. I can already feel myself slipping into a prenatal depression and being snappy with my family. I don’t know what to do. I’m a firm believer in “you’ll regret the ones you didn’t have and not the ones you did” I am so torn. I’m hoping I’ll fall in love at the first scan in a few weeks but what if I don’t… To note, I have had an abortion previously and swore I would never do it again because it was horrific (I was 18 and my boyfriend at the time was a horrible abusive man, so it was the best thing to do)

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I feel I could have wrote this!! Sorry for your loss.. we had a loss end of March and found out at a 10 week private scan, we were also told on the scan there was 3.. we already have 3 kids so it would have been a huge jump in kids but I would much rather have them all than the loss and heartbreak we experienced..I think about them everyday! We are now 8 weeks pregnant so it’s happened pretty quick and some how I don’t feel as excited this time but I know it’s because I’m trying not to get attached in the fear of another loss.. and I know for a fact once I know everything is ok I will be over the moon it’s just the unknown just now.. Honestly having 3 kids is great, you’ll be absolutely fine 😊

Do you feel like you’re possibly disconnected because of the loss? I almost feel the same but I know it’s me trying to not allow myself to believe the pregnancy or be happy incase it goes the same as the last. This would also be my 3rd I’m adding and I’ve definitely thought about how hard and stressful it will be but this is the family life I want. However I also know if it was a loss I wouldn’t try again. Miscarriages are hard and it stays with you forever I don’t think pregnancy after loss would ever be easy for anyone. Only you can decide what you do but I think seeing that scan will help you decide because everything will seem more real for you. I would speak to your midwife about your feelings if you are comfortable doing so. I don’t think you’ll be the first or the last to feel the way you do xx

I had a miscarriage in early June and am now 6 weeks pregnant again, so happened very quick too. Just wanted to say how you’re feeling is normal, both me and my partner have felt quite disconnected this time because were afraid to get all excited again if we have another loss. It makes me sad to not be excited because I feel like we deserve to be, but I think we’ll let ourselves get excited and feel more connected after our first scans

With my second pregnancy I didn't fall in love with her until I was about 7 months pregnant and still ended up going through depression the last 2 months. I found once she was born I instantly fell even more in love with her. Not loving your baby during pregnancy or even immediately after birth doesn't mean you won't love them as time goes on.