Depression

I’m really really struggling at the moment with holding myself together. The last week I have felt really low and thinking thought I shouldn’t. To sit and think I wish I never had my kids, that they deserve better, what sort of life is this for them, I try my hardest everyday, I give them everything they need and give them as much love as it’s possible to give. But I feel they deserve better than me. I want to run away I have felt this way a lot since my twins were born. Everyday feels like survival and my partner is a piece of crap that does the bare minimum and he only does that Because I ask him, he’s taken my 3 year old daughter out of the house a hand full of times and the 1 year old twins never. my sister pops in for 1-2 hours a week. It’s just all too much how am I suppose to do this alone?? strangers tell me everyday of how full my hands are and yes they are, I’m tired of hearing it and tired of doing this

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I don’t know if I should be with my partner, we do nothing together anymore, barely have sex, I don’t think he even likes but he’s too much of an asshole to say anything. I ask and ask questions and they are never answered. He’s cheated twice. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life I’m 25 and he’s 54, I feel like out relationship was just a big mistake. I also read a message on his phone telling the girl he cheated with that he was only with me to get back at my mum because he was angry with her.

I’ve made one massive mistake I should have picked someone my own ages and a dad that wants to be involved in his kids lives. But I can’t rewind so what should I do

I’m so sorry your going through all this. Don’t for a second think your kids deserve better, you are doing amazing! Can your family help out more? And maybe think about leaving your partner … to cheat on you twice and continue to text others is so disrespectful, you deserve better than that. I’m here if you need to talk 😊

Thank you. all my family work or have their own kids so don’t have much time to give. I have put in for a housing application yesterday so hopefully I can move out, is it wrong for me to wait until I get a house to break up from him? I would feel like I’m using him but at the same time I’ve got 3 kids and no where else to go.

I know if I break up from him he would go mad at me and want me to go

You have to think about your kids and you, he has made his choice by cheating. You do what is right for you and the kids, don’t worry about him ❤️

Yes I'd definitely have a house lined up gotta think about the kids too and what will be better for them in the short and long term, if your worried about contact arrangements you can look at cafcass , mediation , or your early help children's centre , aw if you both go to couple counselling if he's prepared that could help, yes he's cheated v disrespectful and it depends if you could work through it and prepared to forgive and your both willing to change

First and for most maybe get help from your GP for you

Maybe speak to homestart they're good

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