Lost my temper :(
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The times I do lose my cool, I always apologize and that everyone gets frustrated. Just know you got this and it will get better, because it has to right! LOL 🙏💜I think the biggest thing is when you lose your cool is to get on his level, apologize, hug it out and explain why you did. 🤗
My 3 and a half year old will listen great with my husband and others, I set boundaries and follow through but yet I am the one dealing with majority of tantrums and meltdowns. If I step out of the house to run to the store quickly and come back my husband will say the kids were completely fine- as soon as I walk in they cry, scream and dont listen. Reason being- we "mom" are their safe spot. They can let their huge emotions out, not listen and we are still there loving them. There isn't anything wrong with it- extremely frustrating for us but its very normal! I sit back and think why me.. but they feel so safe and able to 100% be themselves so big emotions come out, not listening happens ect. Try to take it as a compliment as exhausting as it is lol. Kids are always worse around their mothers. If I raise my voice I just apologize and explain why.
It's ok to get frustrated and lose it. You're human. It's important to show your LO that you're human and how you manage your emotions because littles learn through observation. What is also important is the aftermath: how do you repair with him after you lose it? He's not a bad kid, he made a (series of) bad choice(s). You still love him, you just didn't like the choices he made and his bad listening ears. Then, lay out a plan for next time to make better choices in a similar situation for both of you so you don't lose your temper again. You will lose your temper again, but if you stick to this routine of repair, with time, it will get better
I had an incident like this literally a few days ago. Though I still wanted to be firm on my stance, I did promptly apologize and give extra hugs to tell him I was sorry for losing my temper. I explained how it’s important for him to listen to mommy. I have tried to count to 10 when I have those moments now to make sure I’m reacting but not overreacting due to my own anger and overall frustration of the day. You are a loving mama if you even can admit you lost it and want to do better. That’s half the battle. Take it one day at a time and still set firm boundaries. Understand we aren’t perfect!
Nurturedfirst on instagram has great resources! Including how to acknowledge/apologize to your child after loosing your cool 🫶🏽
First thing that’s helpful in those moments ; remembering that most the time this doesn’t happen! But not using that as a reason to compare the now to one of the good moments, more so reminding yourself that’s why figuring out how to respond and cope is hard!!! Second thing, when moments happen, try to repair the moment and apologize and talk out loud about how you could’ve handled it better, if your child is speaking it also allows them a chance to help you brain storm suggestions or other things to try when we get angry!!! (Just like momma does for them!!) and in turn will make preforming alternative preferred behaviors something your little one is possibly more willing to do in the future without redirection!
If you lost your temper, I'd apologize. It shows you're human and set up a good model for his relationships .
Also, this happens to me a lot. I'm getting better but it's a work in progress for all of us. Hang in there
Oh mama... been there myself so totally understand. Kids can really test our patience, especially when we're tired 😮💨 He probably feels really safe with you, which is why he might push boundaries more. Try talking to him calmly about what happened and set clear rules for quiet time. Don’t be too hard on yourself 🤍 parenting is tough, and we all have moments like this 🥲
He trusts you more and feels more freedom to feel himself and explore
The more comfortable around you they feel, the more honest they are it seems 🤷🏽♀️ & honestly, it gets better as they age! You LO trusts you! Now you have to practice isolating yourself before you lose control. Our Nap time rules: no screens at least an hour before nap time (we personally don’t use screens at all during weekdays) make sure LO has eaten enough, play soft music, read books, dim lights, maybe a soft toy too! Could also be growing pains keeping your LO up! My two cents! Good luck mom!
Honestly, if you set boundaries and follow through, it will still happen. Hopefully they understand that mom means what she says and it lessens. I have to repeatedly tell myself she's little, I lose my cool and don't want to do things. Huge difference is I understand how to regulate my feelings (most of the time lol) as they do not and don't know how to express themselves. It's definitely not ok to hit or anything. You said yourself he's never done it, so while it's frustrating maybe it's a one off and it happens? Trust me I don't want to but have lost my cool (honestly who hasn't)but telling myself is it worth and how do I want her to respond when something doesn't go right. They are learning as they go and they really do respond how we respond more often than not. It's hard and I 100% feel you.my daughter is 4yo.Just try to remember you're how old with feelings and don't like things or get in a bad mood or not hungry or not tired or want space or do what you want.so of course they feel that too at times.