Second c section scares

My first c section was nearly 3 years ago and it was an emergency after being in labour for almost 30 hours. It was all very rushed, and although it wasn’t the birth and the outcome I had hoped for, it was still very positive considering the circumstances. We had music on, the surgeons, doctors and midwives I had were literally the best. With that being said, my recovery in hospital was the worst in terms of support, and therefore my recovery was 10x more painful/ longer than it should have been. A few months later after my c section, I got some counselling for my anxiety (had suffered with anxiety pre baby). This time it was around birth, and I’d often have nightmares of me fainting or drifting off on the c section bed that would wake me up and obviously leave me very panicked. During my section, I did have anti sickness and anti drowsiness meds through IV to help me stay awake but I was so out of it from all of the other drugs/ lack of sleep that I’m not quite sure what was making me feel that way. I was very sure that I wanted to have another c section from the very start of this pregnancy as I didn’t want to go through the whole traumatic experience of my 30 hour labour again. I have also been very excited/ calm about it all up until now. As the c section date is slowly approaching, I am becoming increasingly more anxious about the whole thing. I think as I’m now more aware about the whole procedure, possible what ifs and also this whole idea of passing out/ drifting off whilst in surgery really petrifies me. I went into the first one without any idea of what it would be like, and although it was a shock to the system (mainly recovery), at least I didn’t have much time to process it all. Everyone I’ve spoken to that has had a second c section after an emergency first section tells me how wonderful and more positive their experience has been, which makes me feel like I should be looking forward to it all. I know it’s my anxiety just playing up, and there have been a few times now that I’ve had high blood pressure during my consultant appointments from just talking about it which has resulted in many trips to triage. It just worries me thinking about what I’ll be like on the day or even the pre op appointment the day before, will I even make it to theatre without having a breakdown 😩 Not quite sure what I’m hoping to get out of this but just wanted to let it out in case anyone is in the same boat? Just need to remember to remain positive!