Primary parent
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I absolutely let them have their own time but when I’m around she mostly wants me. If I need to go to the bathroom and pass her off or I’m cooking she will start to cry like she’s hurt. And I know it hurts him. But I somehow become the one to blame
She naturally will look for you for comfort. Encourage as much alone time for them as possible. When you can maybe go out while he watches her so she can get used to being with him.
How old is your LO? I don’t have articles to hand, but her rejecting him is not personal, it’s simply that you are her safety net. And that is something that your husband needs to understand that. At night time, we know that as parents were saying ‘see you later’, but as far as little ones are concerned, it’s ‘goodbye’ and they don’t know if you will be there when they wake up. I will let mine parent until he calls for me as they need to figure things out between them. Depending on how Dad is, I’ll sometimes either help him by saying ‘I’ve found that …. Is working at the moment’ or if afterwards, I’d say I’ve found xxxx helped when she was like that with me’
I don't see anyway that you might be in the wrong. What can you be blamed for - staying at home and taking care of your baby?! It's the most normal and natural thing.