One and Done

Anybody else kind of feeling like they’re “one and done?” Obviously I have to start by saying “never say never” but ultimately I just think I’m leaning towards just sticking to my daughter being an only.. I don’t know what it is, I just think I’d be a better mum to one child, I think of the holidays we’d be able to afford, the valuable one on one time with my daughter and the equally valuable time I can spend on self care and with my partner (which I am aware you can do with more than one but I think I’d struggle to emotionally juggle everything). But then I feel really guilty because I see lots of posts about how “the best gift you can give your child is a sibling”. You never really hear about people who just have one child by choice and everybody so far I have spoken to want more than one (which I’m so jealous of - if I had that desire this would make things easier!) so if any of you are out there- please reach out 🙂
Like
Share Mobile
Share
  • Share

Show your support

We are definitely one and done ( it took us 12 years to decide to have one). I will happily say to people our LO will be an only child, and we are excited to be able to dedicate so much time to her growing up and each other. That is not to say that others who have more than one can't do this too, but we know that for us, our LO will be our only child. I have learnt that people will always have opinions on your child and how many you do or do not have, so may as well do what is right for you and your family.

I’m pretty sure I’m only going to have one….

I’m 40 - so I doubt I’ll have any more children - also im single so there’s that lol - one is such a blessing. Two or more is lovely - but im content with just one

I'm def just having 1. Never wanted kids until much older and then decided to have just 1. I don't think I can personally cope with having more than 1 child. Yes I see siblings together and they are so cute and I feel bad not giving her a sibling but I also know I really really wouldn't be able to cope physically or mentally. She is more than enough thank you.

I'm 43, I had my daughter when I was 40. I decided when we had her that I wasn't having anymore. My husband still isn't happy about it, but I'm not mentally prepared to go through the baby stage and then the hard toddler stages. My daughter has been so good, so I've always thought that a 2nd baby would be the total opposite and I couldn't cope with that haha x

One and done here. A sibling should not be a ‘gift’ for your existing child, I absolutely hate that phrase. A baby is so much more than that! I personally feel complete with our family of 3 and very happy with that decision.

@Charlotte I agree! We’re so content with our little family of 3. I think I also need to factor in I’m not particularly close to my siblings so there wasn’t that influence there - and my partner is an only child and he loved his childhood

Hey I have one and I feel so much better for seeing this as I’ve been shamed so many times since having her saying I’m selfish for been happy with just the one. And what if she is lonely. Do whatever makes you feel happy and do not feel the need to explain yourself to others. The world is now becoming an unaffordable place and when others decided to say it’s mean ask if they will be paying the extra costs xxx

I was quite happy with the three of us. I became pregnant again as my husband wanted another one, unfortunately I had a miscarriage. That's switched a light on for me and I'd love to have another. It's strange how thoughts and opinions can change over time.

I’m in the same boat as you. I want to give my son the opportunity to have the hobbies he wants and to be able to afford to take him abroad. Plus, I found the early postpartum weeks so difficult. You also cannot guarantee that siblings will get on and be that ‘gift’. My husband and I have decided that after being told we couldn’t have children without IVF and then somehow having our son without help, that we are going to pour everything we have into him to give him an amazing childhood and support him the best we can. If we end up pregnant again then we would embrace it, but we aren’t going to go out of our way to have a second and don’t particularly want to.

@Alice I’m also not massively close with mine - I have 4 and they’re all half siblings, but we’ve got such big age gaps we can’t really relate. My youngest brother is 16 this year (I’m 33). It’s not that I don’t love them, but out of the 4 I have only 1 I speak to on a regular basis outside of family events 🤷‍♀️ I often wished I’d been an only child 😂

@Sarah I’m sorry that you went through that

Yep one and done for me! I’m 26 and mummy to a little boy. I had a traumatic birth which resulted in sepsis etc. and I found the first 6 months really hard. I don’t think I can go through that again.. selfishly

I’m an only child! We had our daughter at 28 and said we were one and done. I loved being an only child and got lots of opportunities I might not have had if I’d had lots of siblings. I’ve never known any different so don’t know if I missed out on anything by not having siblings 🤷🏻‍♀️. We decided to only have one as my husband wasn’t sure he could give what I child needed emotionally to more than one baby. Our ‘accident’ baby was born in January 🙈. So if you really are one and done maybe look at long term birth control 😅.

Read more on Peanut
Trending in our community