Need to leave BD-dont know where to start.

I'll start by saying I absolutely I know the hole I've dug myself here and I'm really just looking for clear advice and ask your refrain on the judgmental comment, as I feel I am at one of the lowest points of my life. My BD and I's romantic relationship just isn't working and I would like to leave. However I have absolutely nothing, I have no car, credit is shit, in debt no job as I've been staying home with our almost 1 year old. We live with his family here in MA. I'm from NH and have some family there that my son and I may be able to stay with while I get back on my feet but I'm just not sure if this is the smartest move. I worried my BD will run all over me in court and try to take my son for full custody. That terrifys me. Don't get me wrong, my bd isn't a bad guy and he loves his son and I want him in his life, HOWEVER, when my son was 12 days old he dropped him bc he fell asleep on the chair and almost killed him. He doesn't wake up when my son cries and has repeatedly fallen asleep while holding our son since the incident. For this reason I worry about my son's safety at his current age overnight with his father. What is my first step?? I know I need to get a job, at least something part time but should i apply for housing in MA before i get a job? and is the wait list even worth it? I know in NH the wait list is years and years longs and wouldn't help me in my current situation. If I left right now would the courts try to give him full custody? Would they even take my plea into account that his father can't be trusted with him at bedtime or would they just dismiss me? Sorry this is all over the place. If you know anything about resources for someone in my situation in MA or NH, or have left your bd with nothing to start, please tell me how you did it. This is so hard for me and I feel selfish tearing my family apart and worried about loosing anytime with my child just bc I don't love his father. I know the constant fighting will effect my son and that he deserves a happy mom.

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Hi this is a home in my community for single mothers. May be worth looking at: https://bethesdahousema.org/pregnant-parenting-moms/

@Emily thanks so much! I just sent a request for more info, seems like they will have guidance even if they aren't the right place for us to go. I really appreciate it!!

There are many resources in Ma. Apply for raft or homebase they can help with emergency moving costs. Apply for wic and/or food stamps. Get a job. Try to leave amicably if possible. Sorry this is happening to you.

My understanding is that if you are in MA and aren't married, you are the default sole physical and legal guardian.

Hi Mama, I’m sorry for your situation- it sounds really hard. Is there any way you can safely stay with your BD for a little longer, so that you can get your self in a better financial situation? If you have a safe home and can ensure that BD is not allowed to sleep with your son anymore, can you stay for 6 months while repairing your credit and doing something part-time? Maybe pet care on Rover? I’ve had luck with that. You could stow away an emergency fund that way. There are also clear steps to take to repair your credit (although it depends on the situation). Maybe if you stay with him for now you can tackle each personal problem one at a time. As it is, your situation sounds like a lot and I’m afraid that if you left, your stress would be sky high. I hope this helps!