How to answer

Random one. At almost every medical/antenatal/midwife appt I’m asked “is this your first pregnancy?” At my booking appt I explained that I have been pregnant twice before, once in my early twenties and once 3.5 years ago and both ended in miscarriage at 8 and 7 weeks respectively. So when I’m asked this question I never know how to answer. I’ve said a few times “my first successful pregnancy” in answer, and they usually respond “ah yes but this is first birth/baby”. I wanna answer correctly for medical accuracy, and I don’t want to discredit those pregnancies, especially the last one which was very badly wanted and I mourned for some time after. I am carrying my first healthy baby at term but the baby 3.5 years ago was very real to me too. But I realise it’s often not what they’re getting at. I guess I’m just confused as what i should answer (I’m probably just feeling sensitive about it - damn hormones!)

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You could say it’s your first viable pregnancy (pregnancy that lasts beyond 24 weeks) then you won’t feel like you need to explain x

I’ve had an ectopic and gave birth to my rainbow baby last year. With that baby I said it was my second pregnancy first birth. With this one due now I say third pregnancy second birth. I’ve never had anyone push back like you’ve described in either of my full term pregnancies.

Yes it’s odd and unprofessional that they would discredit the fact that it’s your third pregnancy. It very much is and you’re right in answering the question accurately.

Just write whatever answer you wish to give them in a sheet of paper and hand it to them when ask to avoid explaining anything to them. That’s what my sister did in all her antenatal appointments and they tend to be extra careful with questions they ask her after reading what she wrote cos she lost two babies at 7 & 9 months. You got this🙏.

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