Not ready??

Hi, my daughter is 3 next week and we've been without daytime nappies for about 5 weeks now.
However, it still seems she doesn't know when she needs to go to the toilet?? And will never take herself.

We have had days without any wee accidents but it's very reliant on us making sure she regularly uses the toilet. Poos have been less successful because it's hard to anticipate when she needs it.

Sometimes she will refuse to go and then have an accident 2 minutes later. And if we're not on top of it she regularly still has accidents.

Should we go back to nappies and try again another time?? It already feels like we're very late to this after a few failed previous attmepts when she got really upset over it 😭 or just stick it out and hope she eventually gets it?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

It takes average of 6 months for them to say “oh I need to go”. You would need to remind her. That was our experience

Scheduled toileting depending on liquid consumption. The best is to perseverance because an accident will still happen. It took my daughter ~ 6 months to grasp toilet training. She still has accidents when we visit her cousins because of playing; she forgets to let us know that she needs to pee.

We told her that accident is normal when we are toilet training because we are learning a new skill. Sometimes, sitting in a toilet without any pee is ok as long as we have tried. I had realized later on that my daughter doesn't want to disappoint me if she sits in the toilet without any pee.

Def stick at it. My daughter took probably 4mths for it all to really sink in. She still doesn't really tell us v often that she needs to go but will just take herself away to the bathroom when needed.

Thanks all, good to know it's normal to take a bit longer. I just feel like we're constantly taking her to the toilet and still getting accidents 😅 we'll keep at it 🤞🏻

I’ve been potty training for over a year (he’ll be 4 next month) and I’m still in a similar situation! Sometimes I he gets it, but other times I don’t think he can read his own signs! He has good control when we’re out and about but still relies on me telling him to go! He’s awaiting an autism assessment though as he has some developmental delays so I do wonder if I started him too soon in the first place!

We began potty training my son when he was 2.4, he is now 2.6! It started off that way too, he would only go if we made him! I realized I was kinda making him go.. rather than letting him feel the sensation. So I simply stopped telling him! He had many accidents which had a consequence, when you pee, you have to stop, clean up, which means less time for play!

A lot of times they don’t want to stop playing, so I remind him, if we pee in the toilet, it means we play more (even if that meant I was late to things, I wanted to really reinforce that).

So after a weekend of accidents, it finally clicked. Now he doesn’t have any pee accidents, he does his “pee dance” and I’ll ask him if he has to go which he will say yes and RUN to the bathroom. Poop too! Though poops, he will just walk to the bathroom on his own! We started potty training beginning of July, by end of August- he was pretty successful! Letting him feel that his bladder was full and his tummy had to poop was a game changer!

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?