Sibling for my 2 year old

Hi everyone, me and my partner already have a 2 year old girl and have recently decided to try for baby no 2 and have been trying for a few months now however me and my partner aren’t getting along at the moment - we go through stages where he can be absolutely horrible to me over nothing where he snaps easily, shouts at me in front of my daughter and calls me names & says hurtful things. I would love my little girl to have a sibling but at the same time I wouldnt want to bring another child into a toxic relationship and for it to be x10 harder, do you think I’m doing the right thing deciding to stop trying for baby no 2? I feel guilty for my little girl and I would love another baby I just don’t think it’s the right decision right now however I am nearly 32 so I know a huge amount of time isn’t on my side.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

From what you’ve said, I would leave the toxic relationship because it sounds as if you and your girl deserve better. In time when you’re happy & settled, if you feel the time is right then absolutely try for baby number 2. I see so many people staying in the same relationship to extend their family because they don’t want different fathers for their children - but that’s not what’s important here. As long as a child is loved and happy, that’s what’s it important. And you deserve happiness too. Also, don’t feel that your daughter needs a sibling either because she has you, and will have socialisation through piers and nursery/school etc. I don’t think you’re in the wrong for focussing on what you have now at all, in fact I think it’s sensible and admirable x

@Abbie couldn't have put that better! You're very right, I'm also in a similar situation and have thought about staying till a second comes along, but that's silly just because of not wanting multiple fathers. Your point is very helpful, thank you 😊 I'm sure incognito will find it helpful as well xx

no problem lovely, hope you’re ok xx

in our community

Post partum dad

I have a 2 month old. A few weeks ago my husband crashed out because he didn't feel like he was getting to bond with her. I started exclusively breastfeeding around that time and honestly didnt see the big deal. Baby and I left for a few days and when we got back home, everything was fine. He was extremely hands-on. He helped with my meals, her bedtime, bath, stories.....for a few weeks it was great. Then he randomly sounds depressed af. He says our lo is better off without him, he wants to sleep all day , he asks me not to watch tv then tried playing a video game. He refused to reply to me when i asked any follow-up questions. Then he woke up our baby trying to race me to the bathroom first thing in the morning . He's doing a weird mix of crying, trying, and giving up. Im starting to feel like I cant handle him not being able to handle life with baby and just want to be alone. Are there resources for men?

My friend is over from another country but I don't feel like leaving the house

One of my old friend's is visiting where I currently live and we agreed to meet up today but I feel so tired and exhausted from everything that's been going on with me. I feel if I meet her I'm going to end up having another breakdown from the exhaustion which I have been having often. I'm just thinking about how I need to rest to be able to deal with my toddler and go back to work on Monday without feeling like I need another weekend. I'm torn on what to do so I need you guys to help me decide

My 2 year old won’t eat nothing but snacks

Is this normal ? He won’t even try anything I eat .. he really only like pizza fries and spaghetti… nuggets and snacks bananas some other fruit but like anything else he won’t eat if try but I don’t want to force him I’m just I feel like bad I mean he isn’t losing weight I breastfeed mostly still

Is it bad of me to think this or no?

My husband has been abroad for work (1 day and exploring for 1 day) for 2 and a half days which means I’ve had both kids (1 year and 4 year old) for 2 and a half days plus cooking, cleaning, taking them to clubs, bedtimes!
He came home late afternoon and said I’m so tired, I just need to chill. I said can you wash up whilst I sort kids dinner out, he said he’ll do it later which means he won’t do it and I’ll end up doing it so I said no do it now please otherwise I’ll end up doing it and he said well you have been home and I’ve been away so you’ve just been relaxing.
Don’t know what planet he is on but having the kids alone for 2.5 days is not relaxing. I was stressed!

When he was away, I did miss him and wanted him to come back but now he’s back, I want him to go away again😂
Is that bad?

People telling you your baby is hungry..

I know people don’t always mean it in a bad way and are trying to relate, but when people say my baby is hungry when chewing his hands. I feed him regularly. He eats pretty much every 2 hours. He isn’t hungry, he just loves chewing and exploring his hands. Or they say something about teething, which it is also not, as he isn’t unsettled with it. I have looked into it myself and can be common and neither of those things! He has done it most of the day since 2 months old.

Do I need to pay anything when my child starts school in September

I'm a new mum and obviously didn't grow up in the uk. I currently pay roughly £640 for nursery fees. I'm wondering if my expenses will reduce when my LO starts school or there'll be other expenses (besides bags, uniform etc) will my expenses be anywhere close to £600 monthly?