Husband taking newborn out

Ah that’s a tough one. Sounds like he’s excited for his friends to meet the bubba but from your side I also am not sure I’d feel comfortable with that. Could you suggest they meet somewhere closer; and that you come get baby after an hour so he can relax and enjoy time with his friends after they get to meet your little one? Also I see so many people saying to be careful about passing baby around a group at this age because of their immune system so if that’s something you’re worried about you could also say that. I guess it could also be a good thing if you want to make sure baby is comfortable being away from you (and lots of people might argue it’s great dad is willing to take baby for a few hours so you could have some chill time) but I get that 5 weeks is still super young! Hope you guys can make a plan you both feel good about!

Interest…how would he feel if you suggested the same? I don’t think either me or my partner would have wanted the other to do that.

@Kathryn he’s a fantastic Father and he’s beyond helpful, always gets stuck in. It’s literally just me, it would be the first time he’s away from me since obviously urm making him… lol The distance thing is a good idea, however all of his friends are from the place they’re meeting, so don’t think they’ll all want to travel. Good point about the passing him round, I don’t think the lads would want to hold the baby. X

@Kathryn what do you mean? X

Oh, I didn’t mean to suggest he wasn’t a good dad, I was just saying that I can understand why you wouldn’t want him to go so far for so long. I would have said no, but my partner would have also said no if I wanted to do that.

I'd personally be uncomfortable, but the most important thing is that you feel anxious and he should understand that. That's a motherly instinct we can't switch off. Also at that age babies shouldn't spend more than 45 minutes in a car seat and there should be an adult in the back with them as they are at risk if SIDs.

He’s an equal parent and personally I think you should let him. The break will be nice, so things around the house have a nap a bath see your friends. Once you’ve done it once you should feel fine about it

I wouldn't be okay with that either. Especially if the bubba is breastfed. Can you go with them? If he wants to have some time alone with lads, shouldn't it be okay for you to join them for an hour/half an hour and then maybe you can go with the baby elsewhere so he can have some time alone with his friends (but only if there's somewhere safe you could go even in the case of rain, like a library or a coffee shop nearby)

I’d be uncomfortable but more due to the car seat limit @Enikő mentioned. I was nervous for the first few months taking baby in a car for more than 20/30 minutes in a day for the SIDs : breathing reason. Also I wasn’t comfortable passing him around a group for the first few months due to immune system/illnesses

Personally it would make more sense for them to come to yours and see the baby and then go off to the pub for lunch. Has he taken the baby out without you before? I think it’s good for him to take the baby out by himself.

@Kathryn oh I knew you weren’t. I just wanted to point out that isn’t nothing to do with him, it’s all on me x

I think it’s a little too early and I know you wouldn’t be able to rest due to anxiety. The distance is too far personally and the pub isn’t ideal for a 5 week old really if anyone becomes intoxicated and kisses baby etc you can’t really monitor it x I’d explain you feel it’s too far and they’re welcome to yours or something closer, perhaps a compromise or just say maybe in a month or so x

@Enikő that’s a good point. I’ve always sat in the back of the car with him even on short journeys. It’s definitely an instinct x

@Elena this is what I mean, he’s an equal patent and the break would be lovely BUT it’s abit far and long away 😅

@Shirley very good point x

@Karen he’s taken him to do a small shop (down the road) and that’s it. It would make sense but I doubt they’d come to us x

My husband (again lovely father) wanted to take LO out to the park with his friend when he was about 7/8 weeks old and I had to explain to him that if he has a crying episode he’s too far and currently even with baby at 12 weeks I’m the only one he settles with. At 5 weeks people were only coming to the house to see baby. I didn’t want to break my husbands confidence so really had to sit down and talk to him about how I felt. I’m ok with the shops or anywhere within 15/20 mins walk because I know if little one starts crying and won’t stop it’ll only be for a short while. If my baby took the bottle fine and he was happy with my husband all the time I would jump at the chance of some alone time.

I spent an afternoon away from my baby when she was six weeks old for my friends baby shower, my husband did take her out somewhere(can’t remember where), but it wasn’t an hours drive away, it was a lot closer, in case anything happened. Could you suggest that they meet somewhere closer to you? I know you said it makes sense for them to meet there, but I’m sure they’d understand and be willing to travel just for this occasion. Maybe show your husband some of the answers on here to show that it’s not that you don’t trust him, other mums feel the same as its instinct 🙂

@Nilam I think I will need to sit him down and explain. Baby will take the bottle but once in a ‘state’ he will only settle with me x

@Hannah that’s a good idea, hopefully it will show him that it’s not on him x

I say let him crack on.. I guarantee he’ll be back sooner 😂 xxx

Imo thats very young and it’s not an environment you can control (esp as babys immune system is still not developed), annnd its very far if baby needed you. The mother/baby relationship is unique and theres nothing that can replace that comfort for the baby, they still think of you as an extension of them. The babys comfort and then the mother’s comfort takes priority, and an unnecessary long car ride without you isn’t fair. Unless for elderly relatives I think it’s polite for all guests to make the journey and visit. Remember you’re still recovering from birth too and its natural for you to feel anxious without baby with you x

Also I’m sure he will be fine driving with the baby crying in the back for an hour? I don’t think I’d of risked going that far myself at that age. It was bad enough ten minutes up the road. As someone said leave him to it and see how long he lasts! Seems a bit ambitious but I may be wrong!

An hour drive, my 15 month won’t even do 30 mins with me driving and my mum in the back 😂 Hard no from me for that reason alone. No way a newborn will be fine in the car that long..I’d be too worried about the head position etc if they fell asleep with no one in the back

My boyfriend didn’t look after her alone away from me properly until 6 months old 😅😬 I was breastfeeding and couldn’t pump enough for her to be left with him though. He did however take her on a walk for a little bit while I showered or had a bath from about 6weeks old. If your uncomfortable with him taking the baby away for that long see if he could instead either shorten the amount of time or meet at a more accessible place for you as would put your mind at ease, if his friends really wanted to meet him and spend time with them they would do so.

4 weeks old , I went out for my birthday meal with my friends (first time I went out pp) and he took our lo out to meet his friends at a quiet pub, and I completely trusted him, he just gave me updates I made sure he had everything needed and I wasn’t to far if he really needed me. I know it’s so scary but he’s the dad and if you allow him and goes well it will definitely give him the confidence to have baby alone and your be more relaxed to treat yourself whilst dad has baby 😉 it’s nice he wants to take baby, some men don’t! X

I would take that and run w it honestly. Couple hrs by my myself, already sleep deprived at 5w I would just sleep it off. He takes the baby regularly and even now at 5yrs takes him weekly usually on a Friday night coz I’m out. They have Daddy-son dates on Fridays, it’s cute. And my boy looks forward to them also. He was an EBF baby but took bottle and paci fine (I made sure he’ll take a bottle coz I take lots of breaks)

No your not wrong, it’s cold/flu season and your LO should not be out in public really until two-three months and after they receive their shots but for right now due to what season it is it’s not recommended for the baby to be out now.

I don’t remember exactly. But I always felt comfortable with him doing it. I trusted/trust him 100% with our kids.

I'm the exact same and has taken so many convosations with my partner before birth and after, our son is now just over 6 months old and he hasent taken him anywhere yet he has him some mornings for me so I can have some sleep for an hour or so, but I always tell him it's all me from previous child I was alone and had to do everything with my first and I'm slowly getting better but have been way better then I thought I would be and yes sometimes he feels like I don't trust him but I reassure him I do, iv left him with our lil man while iv popped to the shop and the tip but he's not left the house with him, I know this sounds awful and that I don't trust my partner but I do I'm just an over protective mummy and I don't think I'll ever really change much, there's no way if let him take him that's far away at that young age for that amount of time xx

4-5 hours is a long time. I would suggest a shorter time and maybe discuss things like, no kissing baby, etc.

My boy has been going out with dad since 3 days old just to his families house for an hour or so. He's 6 months now and goes for 3 hours sometimes once a week. It's your call x

Thanks everyone for your comments etc. Like I’ve said, it has nothing to do with trust. He’s a wonderful Father and I trust him, completely. I just don’t like the idea of him being so far, for so long. He does only fully settle when I’m around. So, I do wonder what would happen if baby was to have a melt down. I’ve been taking him out but he’s always attached to me in the carrier or buggy. I think I could start with shorter distances and shorter amounts of time… I definitely need the break.

My son is 14mo and still won’t be away from me for more than 1hr. I wouldn’t be okay with him driving 1hour to have lunch in a pub?? That’s no place for a baby wtf?!

I was ok with him taking them to the park with friends for a few hours, 4-5 hours with a group of 3-4 guys, at 4-5 weeks old. I let my husband try to settle them and feed them and everything right away so baby would be used to it not being only me. He never had a problem, but I wouldn't like it if he took them somewhere loud that may have rowdy people in it like a pub, or somewhere more than a 30 minute drive away. Asking him to stay closer to home is completely reasonable at such a young age.

An hour away is quite far, is there a compromise? Could he be closer? Could you also go somewhere nearby the pub? Spend some time shopping nearby? So that he still gets the time with his friends and baby but you’re nearby if baby does need you? I trust my husband 100%, I’m happy being able to let him take baby for however long he can so I can have a break. An hour away at 5 weeks though is a little nerve wracking, I can definitely understand that, but I’ve taken my baby over an hour away from my husband. At some point it does bring up the question, is it fair for you to say no?

@Alice it would be a restaurant pub. We’ve taken him a couple of times, I don’t see the issue x

@Hessa he does feeds/has him during the night but I’m always close by. I don’t think they would travel this far x

@Rhianna this s his argument but I’ve tried explaining that our bond is different. I’ll speak to him about compromising x

He should t be in the car seat for more than 30 mins at a time before 6 weeks. 1hr away seems pretty far for a first time. My husband has never taken my boy out for anything more than a dog walk on his own and he’s nearly 14 months!

I would do what Rhianna said above then. You go too, but spend your time nearby look for a mall or get a massage or nails done or hair…. Go to the library if you like to read… You’ll be nearby, he gets to see his friends w the baby, you get a break. I think that’s a win win all around tbh.

@Sophie what ?! Why not?

@Brittany he’s breast fed and wouldn’t take a bottle. Also very particular about naps and I don’t trust anyone to stick to his routine or know how to look after him properly.

3 months in and my boyfriend (child’s father) hasn’t taken him out by himself at all

I know it’s scary, that mummy and baby attachment is so real. But remember your bubba is so so little at the moment all they do is feed sleep and have a nappy change, which means as long as all 3 of these are cared for, they might not even realise your not there. I know it sounds a bit sad but I had a shocker when I left my 10 week old over night with nanny for the first time. I thought he’d cry the whole time for me but it’s the first time he actually slept thru the night the little sod. They are attached to us yes but they are also still not fully aware of their surroundings plus it’s really good to get baby to bound with dad without you to help form that relationship. You’ll be okay girl, I know it’s so hard but try to actually enjoy that time - have a bit of a you day and catch up on that needed sleep xx

@Sophie 30 mins isn’t quite true. NHS recommends no longer than 2 hours. Our hospital is 45-60 min drive and have done this drive a handful of times.

@Kaydee oh I completely agree that anything before 9 months they’re only attached to who can give them what they need. However, he is much more at ease with me being around. I agree that they need to bond and I’m happy for him to take him out alone but I think 4/5 hours and 20+ miles away is too much for the first time. Not just for me but all of us x

Maybe you’re experiencing PPA. I trust my partner 100% too and he’s a wonderful father! But the PPA and being a new mom.. always had me on edge. It does get easier but I do think 5 weeks is way too early to be separated from mom for that long. 5 hours eating at a pub is a long time.