stay at home mom trying to find a balance looking for advice without judgement
Show your support
Girl I feel the same way my oldest is 3, then 2 and my 5mo old while my fiancé works a lot he helps out a chore here and there. I struggle to keep up constantly and I feel the best way is to let it get messy as you’re spending one on one, if they have synced naps like mine I got 2-3 hours free to clean/prep then I get to spend more time w them cus dinner is basically done and house is clean. Then cleanup after that when they go to bed I’m sorry girl it sucks the life out of me and I feel exhausted mentally but that’s the best way to feel connected and have things tidy-ish while they’re up (least for a lil)
I feel you. I have a 3 year old and newborn too. The guilt is real. Is there a library you can all go to where he can look at all the books, or do a toddler story time there? Also I like to arrange play dates, he can play with another kid while you supervise and visit with the mom?
But then there’s days I can’t mentally handle the mess and need to so my son plays (500 tantrums and fights) with his sis watching tv playing legos etc
don’t feel bad at all you taking steps to make sure your son still gets the things he needs shows how much you care! active engagements to enroll in: t-ball bicycle classes and groups to ride with kids his age and learn a skill swim classes (the kids i used to teach for all LOVED going to these) soccer (if he’s into that) fast lanes has a tumble and play slide there are gyms in some cities built for hanging, climbing, running/jumping skills, etc. that have guided classes for toddlers nature walk groups where kids can go walk around nature and explore the natural world relaxed & fun activities: music classes arts and crafts (also can do at home includes tie dye shirts, finger painting, (i can give more ideas if you message me) cooking/baking classes remember you’re doing great and no matter what your kids love you. don’t give up on yourself because they haven’t💟
Yep happened when I had a newborn and older kid home for breaks. The older one was into all kinds of crappy unboxing videos. There were also a lot of tantrums. I started recording them - mostly my reaction and her, turned into something fun to do. We also did baby improv - pretended to speak for the baby whenever she stretched or made noises. It passed super quick, it also helped that the oldest finally became a reader by the end of the year. These days I have a toddler that eagerly helps with food prep in a learning tower and my older kid floats in between helping and doing some crazy pretend dressup stuff. Lots more stuff getting done than in those early days. In between those two phases we did do a lot of various after school things with the baby tagging along - martial arts, dance, swimming. This season I took pretty much everything out but drop in gymnastics ( me might try the ninja warrior drop in) and just focusing on normalizing our home space.
@Heidi actually my 4 year old doesn’t nap so that sucks he’s just on GO mode ALL DAY and it’s exhausting but sometimes i feel i don’t try hard enough because of my ppd and i’m trying but it’s a mental battle everyday
@Lianne yea i just moved here so i know no one yet but library is good we’ve went it’s just he likes to run around and be loud and they get upset
Coloring books! Or let him help u do chores, my daughter loves pushing brooms and putting laundry in a basket. Also pretend play, stuff that requires imagination. I recently got my toddler a leap start and she loves it and it keeps her entertained for like 20-30 minutes at a time
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Mangohood-Kitchen-Step-Stool-for-Kids-Toddler-Two-Step-Standing-Tower-Montessori-Wooden-Learning-Furniture-White/2710482647?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=101115682&gclsrc=aw.ds&&adid=222222222282710482647_101115682_147277400375_18486918658&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=650979656544&wl4=pla-1967596401753&wl5=9027743&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=551715743&wl11=online&wl12=2710482647_101115682&veh=sem&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADmfBIqSgjoA0sqt0CGUFIZ3Dbq65&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0Nb56K7BiAMVmSWtBh2crRzbEAQYDyABEgKVjfD_BwE I have a newborn and a toddler and it’s hard right now. Idk if you have one of these but I just got my toddler one and it helps her feel apart of the activities. If I’m cooking I’ll give her a little bowl with a splash of water and a spoon and say I need help mixing it. I just try to make her part of what I’m doing. Maybe see if you can order some Halloween crafts from Amazon and have him do some. It’s okay to not be doing something 24/7
For activities, I'd say go outside and let him dig. Give him a good shovel, a watering can, and maybe a bucket, then sit back while he digs for worms or whatever. Hide some cool stuff in your dirt for added interest. I left a whole garden box empty this year just to devote to kid digging. They love it. Plus, you'll do baths after, which are another great way to play without having to chase them around. Get bubble bath, bath crayons, new bath toys, little squirt guns, a stick-on basketball hoop, etc. Depending on how your scar is healing, you can probably bf tubside while he has a blast. Watch some movies together. Give him a balloon and see how long he can keep it in the air. (Careful it will pop at some point) A newborn and toddler situation is rough. Hang in there. Your baby is getting bigger every day & once you're healed, you'll feel more up for being the fun mom again.
At the age of 3 they have good understanding skills so I would just involve him in more things you do. If you’re cooking let him cook with you. Give him the broom while you clean, etc. You can also play games with him make matching cards, color. There are numerous things you can do to keep him busy and not even get out of bed
You could have PPD. Also, if your baby is young (under 3 months), life is just exhausting then. Hopefully, as the baby sleeps more, you will get more rest and have more energy.