Why

@Brittnee I told my man we’re splitting everything 50/50 even thought he’s the primary provider. He works a full time job with rough hours. He works almost 4 12 hr shifts and makes decent money, I work 3 days a week for 7 hours so I make no where near as much as him but we’re home almost the same amount of time. It’s both our home, both of our kid, both our dishes, but our laundry, both our mess. At the end of the day, yes I do a little more chores but it’s pretty 50/50. It took us awhile to get to where we’re at now because he too let everything fall on me because I was the stay at home mom for awhile and I was drowning in responsibilities and mentality struggling because of it. It took a few talks for me to be like “hey it’s not while being in the money. It’s both our things so both our responsibility.” I did end up taking the petty route and I made him a to do list that had to be done by his 3rd day off or I’m not washing his work clothes. You don’t help me, I don’t help you 🤷🏻‍♀️😬

* who’s bringing in the money

This sounds childish coming from a grown man who has see you have kids. The fact that he weights out everything even the income sounds crazy.. Your a team it’s not about how much both make or who’s done more. You do your best he does his best and you help each other because of that love. If he sees you tired he gets up and if he is tired you get up.

Sounds like he's telling you he won't be a partner and he thinks you're trapped with him so now he's showing his true colors. I would take that job as a blessing and start working towards moving out so he can handle 100% of his bills and chores since he wants to act like his little job is paying for slave labor. Wouldn't clean anything since he wants to act like a a roommate. Definitely don't allow this man to give you another baby either. Sorry he turned out to be that way 🖤

If he wants you to do 100% of the chores again, tell him that you are happy to go back to doing that as a stay at home mom. Otherwise, he will need to pitch in as well.

I make more than my husband but he doesn’t have that mentality that I do everything alone or it’s 50/50. Some days it’s more than 50/50. We appreciate each other for the things we do even just by cleaning the dishes. We’re gonna have two kids soon (due in December with baby #2). We also have one car. I work at 6am (I’m a caregiver). He doesn’t start until later (he works at Valvoline) and on top of that, our 4 year old goes to preschool now. He drops me off at work, comes home, sleep for an hour or two, get him and our son showered and ready, drop him off at school then he heads to work. I was home for a long time before going back to work but I’m going back to being a stay at home mom when I go on maternity leave and his sister is moving in with us to help my husband with the bills and help us out overall.

Maybe I am in the minority in this. But I am a SAHM and I expect my husband to do his share on his days off, and also do anything I ask of him before or after his shifts (he does 5-13 hr shifts as a fuel hauler) and he does it because he signed up for a life together, not a housekeeper and nanny situation. He also leaves me in charge of finances and never questions any of my purchases, though will ask if we have the budget for x,y,or z before making any purchase over $50.

Sounds like me but my man complains about my 2 older kids, doesn't change a diaper, complains about doing everything. Now he has a window cleaning business and I work a 12 hour shift and I still have to clean windows and not get sleep. I recently had a miscarriage because of work and stress and he don't care if I did cause when I needed to go to hospital he wanted to make sure he did what he needed to do 1st B4 he took me

@Kayla I guess I just take it for granted that my husband does more than his share of the work at home. I also have 2 adult children who are still living in our house. That being said, yes, when both are at home, they should both contribute, if the work is kept up with on a daily basis he shouldn't have too much to do on his off days.

If he wants to pay you or someone else to do half of the housework, that’s on him, but he needs to be paying somewhere whether it be time or money. Work does not make him exempt from his responsibilities to his house and family. To me it’s hours spent not monetary value that’s the measure. If someone cleans the bedroom and it’s bigger but someone else cleans the bathroom it doesn’t make it even if the bathroom took longer because there’s more to clean. If one of you worked more hours that week, the other had more time home and available to pitch in there.

Just say okay well if I still basically have to do 2 jobs then I’ll just quit Walmart lol

He wants you to work and be a housewife... But he can't have both and let him know that! It doesn't matter if you're not making as much money as him! A job is a job... takes time and energy He got tired of all the financial responsibility, so wanted u working Doesn't make sense u working at Walmart and him at the hospital... he obviously makes more Idk girly My husband is also in the medical field and agrees it doesn't make sense for me to get a minimum wage job when I can be stay at home mom and take care of the home

Of course he makes more. There’s no gap in his work history. He didn’t have to stay home to take care of kids. What a ridiculous argument on his part.

Little boy mentality

I've been arguing with my husband about this situation. He barely works and barely provides and I stay at home and I work full time and care for baby and him too. He acts like I still should be the one cooking, cleaning, caring for his dog, and caring for baby, and work while he can sleep and the leave. He "watches" baby while I work. Which is him putting baby to sleep in the afternoon all afternoon and he also.... Sleeps. I provide everything. His mom even sends us stuff sometimes. He has contributed essentially nothing. Yet claims he does it all and I do nothing. So I would definitely set boundaries asap and not let him walk over you like that. You're both working. And caring for baby. You both live in the house and use the stuff. He should be helping too.

For me, I don’t think it necessarily matters how much the other person makes per se, but the amount of hours worked. If I have an 80 hour work week and you only work 20 hours a week, honestly I feel like you should be doing more of the chores. That’s just simply due to the lack of time and such. But I don’t think pay rate exactly is the determining factor 🤔 At least in my opinion - in regards to my household. Also, regardless of who works more, if we have the time off we spend at least a little time to get chores done bc we both live here and care about our home.