Bizarre MIL

People talk about there mil as if there just weird but there actually just horrible and don’t give a shit 🤣 like I would’ve loved to ebf and my lg had latch problems (minor tongue tie) and I then got sepsis so had to be on antibiotics that wouldn’t allow breast feeding so these people should be supportive 100% not trying to get them to take a bottle! These other mil make me angry😡🤣🤣🤣

I think mines riled me into hating everyone else’s hahahah

My mil was the same. Because in her mind once bubs was on bottles she could have sleep overs with bubs.

Do people allow sleepovers? My girl is just over 5 months and I just couldn’t 🤣

I haven’t no. My boy is 13 months now. I have no desire for him to have a sleep over anywhere at this age lol I’m his mum and I can manage just fine. It’s my job!

Yea whether my little boy was breastfed or bottle fed it wouldn’t matter he still wouldn’t be going for sleepovers any time soon🙈

Yeah I absolutely get it. What I didn’t realise is my mil had set up a nursery at her house for my baby and was expecting weekly sleepovers pretty much from day one. So we had different expectations and it’s caused a lot of tension. It’s good to have open conversations about these things. Say to her I can tell my baby is getting all they need by their nappy output. Why do you think we should be using bottles? Try and hash it out and set clear boundaries

Omg my mother in law did that with me!!!! It is so fucking weird it’s like no bitch I’m breastfeeding they’re weird dude!

I’d just say “No and we have no intention of introducing a bottle any time soon as breastfeeding is working really well for both of us” My MIL called me selfish for breastfeeding as nobody else could feed the baby 🙃 and made me express to feed

Can you just tell her that you are happy with how things are and not planning on introducing bottles in the near future? Maybe that’ll prompt a discussion and stop the questions every visit? It might be that she didn’t have enough milk supply and is genuinely worried about baby getting enough, but of course he is getting plenty if he’s gaining weight ok.

Sounds like your partner needs to step in and put some boundaries in place. Very tedious to have the same discussion repeatedly. Maybe have them share with her the World Health Organisation guidance on EBF until 6 months if possible - https://www.who.int/health-topics/breastfeeding#tab=tab_1

Mine did this CONSTANTLY. She once stirnly said to me ‘don’t you think it’s time to put him on the bottle’ because my boy had colic and she blamed it on my milk. whenever she came round it would be ‘he’s feeding again must be really hungry’ whenever he cried ‘oh he’s so hungry’ which made me so angry and upset. Imagine trying to get into a new mums head about her breast milk supply!? What the actual fuck. She would then move on to say things like ‘oh it’s crazy how a baby can grow so much on just your milk’ like she genuinely has no understanding of human biology. Looking back I can’t actually believe I put up with this shit so much. I did tell her very clearly on several occasions that I’m breastfeeding and will not be using bottles and it’s my choice but now I wish I’d just told her to fuck off.

@Sophie omg yesss she also does this & constantly says oh he’s hungry he’s hungry & im like no he’s actually not. He loves sucking his thumb so he can literally have a massive feed then suck his thumb for comfort & she’s like oh he must be hungry again🤦🏽‍♀️ it boils my blood! I’m so sorry you went through this too ☹️ it’s hell

Thanks so much everyone ❤️ I’m so sorry that so many of you have also gone through this!! But I’m also glad I’m not alone. It’s teaching me how i absolutely will NOT behave when I’m a MIL in the future 😩x

@Becca she called YOU selfish?? That’s terrible ☹️ I’m sorry you went through that x

To be fair both of our mums did make suggestions of bottle feeding. I just didn't listen and continued to ebf. I think because they both did, they just thought it was the norm and it was all they knew. They also seemed to find it weird how long I did it for. I did it just before bed times at the end but little one lost interest. I think I stopped at 17 months (7/8 ebf then combi and introduction of solids) and my aim was 6 months so I was happy.

Ergh so frustrating! My FIL once asked me when I would give [my first baby] a bottle, I said never, he said "so you're just going to starve him?! I said, no?! He'll be breastfed as long as he is happy. Here we are 3 years and a baby sister later and he's still breastfeeding! They don't ask anymore 🤣

@Maeve WHO actually say "up to 2 years and beyond"

@Charlotte the link says “Breastmilk provides all the energy and nutrients that the infant needs for the first months of life, and it continues to provide up to half or more of a child’s nutritional needs during the second half of the first year, and up to one third during the second year of life.”

@Courtney Davis yeah I wouldn't even let my 2yo stay with anyone. I do t trust any one to look after my babies and their comfort means everything to me. So we hired a doula when I gave birth to my second while my partner stayed at home and kept my daughters routine. I dont regret it at all!

@Charlie only person I trust is my mum or sister, but even then it upsets me to think she’s crying and she needs me. I haven’t left her for more than an hour and that was with my mum and she was sleeping anyway while I quickly went shop! Not sure how I’ll cope having a second and leaving her. Might just take her with me🤣🤣🤣

Oh I was a mess inside about leaving her in general 😂 I'm thinking home birth for my third so I don't have to worry about them too much 😂 I have cameras so I was able to check in 😂

Ohhh that’s good!! Tbh home birth once you know what happens/goes on sounds good. I’d love a home birth but the mess puts me off hahahaha x

@Colby my mother-in-law, did the exact same thing made a nursery in home.

So annoying, sorry you're dealing with that! You don't get that time back,it is yours. I was unable to bf how I wanted so bottle feeding was very important to me to bond and I made sure only I did it.

Had the same experience with mil constantly asking even now lil boy is 7 months makes stupid comments about his size and asks what I'm feeding him. She makes me so angry she's now started making comments about choking as he's starting solids so glad I know I'm doing the right thing. Hang in there and stand your ground you know what's best for your baby x

My daughter had a tongue tie for 2 months after two failed procedures. I was in agony, I got mastitis 3 times and my nipples just in general were constantly raw. But you best believe I suffered that pain because of the shit I had to listen to about bottle feeding! I knew from the moment I would have to allow her to do feeds etc. it sounds so crazy looking back on it, I was in a really toxic relationship where my partner idolised his mother and I was just the incubator. Do not lean towards bottles UNLESS YOU WANT TO!!!!!!! 1 year in my daughter has naturally weaned off my breast and god I would give my right leg to be able to go back and have one more feed with her 🥹 I don’t understand this obsession with feeding someone else baby, do something more helpful like INTERACT, make you a meal, do some of your laundry. Infuriates me Ps I fucking hate MIL’s

@Orlagh I agree 💯

@Orlagh thank you ❤️ & yes exactly there are so many other things she could do otherf than feed! It’s honestly so crazy to me 🤦🏽‍♀️ I’ll be sticking to my guns with breastfeeding ❤️ MIL just exhausts me though

@Charlie I had a home birth with my second and it was amazing! Not having to leave my toddler was a big factor

@Lindsay I find it so strange. Has your little one had a sleep over yet? My son doesn’t even know my husbands side of the family so there is no way he’d be comfortable for a sleep over. It’s so weird.

This is such weird behaviour but sadly as I can see from the replies it happens a lot but basically the mil is thinking more about themselves than you or the baby and the want to feed the baby themselves and manipulate a bond and emotional dependence on the child overrides everything even the baby’s basic human need - to feed from their mother. It ultimately needs to be nipped in the bud straight away preferably by your partner advocating for you and baby xxx

@Charlie we have cameras too & when I miscarriage our second child I had to spend 3 nights & lots of emergency visits to the hospital. I liked to check in to see how my toddler was doing, we had never been apart for longer than a couple hours & I naturally worried. FIL & MIL didn't like that we have them & demand we take them down or they won't babysit in our home (there's a pool at their house). Errr ok then you won't be having him at all 🤷🏻‍♀️ Has it's caused you any issues?

Everyone loves a chance to bottle feed a baby it's amazing to bond but the decision is ultimately the parents. Family should definitely support you if EBF is what you want. I had so many issues breastfeeding the first 3 months but made it to 18 months breastfeeding & I'm proud of myself. Some people will view bottle feeding as the easier option especially if MIL or you struggled to begin with. Some might think bottle feeding means baby is ready for sleepovers & that quality time for MIL is coming soon!? I felt uncomfortable doing it in front of family because of daft comments like you can't do that when he has teeth, I ended up spending so much time sat in a spare room if we were visiting family it was barely worth the trip.

@Emma I'm so sorry, that must have been so hard ❤️ I've miscarried too but it was just before my eldest, I can imagine adding missing your roddler on top of that was awful! Oh what awful people they are! I don't blame you, I'd not leave my child at a house with a pool either. I don't trust anyone and I've heard horror stories, it's the only place my mind would be! Well, the camera is actually for the driveway as someone keyed my car around mothers day. but I can turn it around to see the front room and the other is in the bedroom so they don't cause much hassle 😅