adapting to change with family

Hi mums ✨ a bit of a vent… Has anyone not had a great relationship with family before having a bubba? now all of a sudden , you have family grilling you about not hearing or seeing your child?? … ive lived on my own since 15. my parents would barely ever (almost never) contact me & constantly felt i was the failure child. my childhood and upbringing wasn’t the greater hence moving from 15 years old. i wanted out of a toxic space. anyways.. i am struggling so much right now because my family are always wanting to see or hear about my daughter. it just doesn’t feel right to me that everyone has an expectation now to keep in contact constantly.. yet when i needed them the most at 15 and throughout my pregnancy (they hated me more at this time) no one wanted to speak or hear from me. i have yet to unlearn and continue growing from such a toxic space with toxic family, so i don’t feel i NEED to keep in contact with anyone? but then i just feel so bad and like a shit person for doing so. any advice or related stories would so help me right now :(

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Your feelings are so valid 🩷 and at the end of the day you can only do what is best for you and your child. If you want your child to have a relationship with them, you will need to keep in touch. However, if this family is unhealthy and toxic, it’s also ok to not want your child around them. If this is the case, stand your ground, be strong for your baby and know you can do this without their relationship

My whole family cut me off after standing up to the narcissistic family dynamic (I was the scapegoat). I fell pregnant at the same time as my narcissistic sister and my god she made my life hell to the point I was about to have an emergency cesarean at 7 months from stress as the heartbeat of my LO dropped (but according to my mother this was my own fault lol). My point is, if a situation is toxic, for the sake of you and your child, run. I'm telling you now, do whatever the fuck you want for you and your child, if you don't think they deserve to be in your child's life, don't let them. You owe them nothing. Feel free to reach out and we can vent together 🤣 sending love your way, as it can be extremely lonely, isolating, and difficult navigating motherhood without any family ❤️

@Tash thank you for your response lovely 🩷 it has been so helpful, especially when i’ve been letting my feelings get in the way of what i know is right. I will be standing my ground for my child as you mentioned!. it is so hard but worth it when you don’t want your child inheriting unwanted traits and thoughts/opinions. Thank you so much again for reaching out ✨🩷

@Gabriella aw i’m so sorry this happened to you 🤍 you are such a strong mama!! definitely taking all of this & seriously taking action this time! yes yes!! i’ve just flicked you a message ! :)

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