Does anybody prefer their older child?
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@Van this was so comforting even for me 🩷
@Van Thank you. I just feel so terrible, like I didn’t get the mum hormones this time round. I hope you’re right and it gets better.
Hey so I feel the same sorta way I have a 15 month old and a 4month old who's 8 weeks adjusted who spent a month in NICU and as much as I love both it's easier to cope with my eldest it's nice knowing that I'm not alone in feeling less bonded with my youngest, fingers crossed this feeling passes xx
I'm currently pregnant with my second so not experiencing this so I might be way off here. But I feel like surely this is normal when you've got a newborn, who let's be honest doesn't really interact or give you much in return (not even a bloody smile till like 10 weeks!) so I feel like it's OK to think that your older child is your 'preference' because they actually respond and like you say they're funny and have a personality. I think it's amazing that you can acknowledge this in yourself and as little one gets older you'll see their personality and form that amazing bond with them too. Newborns are hard. Be kind to yourself mama
I agree that think it seems normal. My first wasn't easy so hopefully baby number 2 when they arrive is easier, but I'm super connected with my oldest now. I always loved her and would have protected her with my life but it's different now. I also think missing that quality time is normal too. I'm anticipating missing it when her brother or sister arrives in a few months. I am missing her now on days when I don't get to spend as much time with her.
@Grace I guess I was just expecting to feel the same way as I did with my eldest and it’s knocked me a bit that I don’t.
@Pamela maybe I’m being too impatient to feel that connection
Oh I get that 100% it's weird to be saying this when I'm pregnant with number two like they're not here yet but I can just imagine it playing out like that! Especially when your youngest doesn't even smile or laugh yet it's harder especially when you have an older kid who fully interacts with you!
When you just gave birth and going through postpartum u have so many emotions with healing and your own self like sleeping able relax that sometimes we lose focus on bonding with the second and since the 1st is older and can give it’s easier to bond with more and connect with them more then newborn. So it’s okay feel that way I promise when you see the baby hit stages where they’re laughing smiling siting up starting solids rolling you’re going to be like omg 🩷 then u will look back and realize u were just in ur zone and it’s nothing personal and u love them so much like ur oldest💕🦋
Girl listen do not stress. At 1 month they are still a potato. It’s hard to bond with a potato. This is my third rodeo. And though I loved all of my children, they didn’t really feel like mine until 6-12 months each time. I too have a 3 week old right now. We’re just in survival mode. Don’t worry! Those feelings will come 🥰