I’m about to lose my mind (up in here, up in here)

I have a 14 mo old and a 6 week old. My newborn is sooo much fussier than my first ever was. If she isn’t sleeping or eating, she’s crying. I can’t put her down for longer than 5, MAYBE 10 min, without her crying. (She was 10 days early - not sure if this makes a difference beause my first one was cooked well done and even a few days late 🤷🏼‍♀️) And now my oldest is starting to whine and fuss so much more. And it’s fake!! She’ll be whining and stop and talk normal to us and then go right back to whining. I don’t know if it’s because she’s cutting new teeth or because she sees the baby getting attention when she cries. But I’m literally about to lose my ever loving mind with all the crying going on under this roof - from all three of us at this point. Is anyone going through the same?? Any tips, tricks, suggestions, words of encouragement? I feel like a terrible mom because I have no idea what’s wrong with my newborn and I’m losing my patience so quickly with my toddler. 😣 Hellllllp!! 😩
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My girls are 12 months apart and honestly I found it just took time for my eldest to adjust to not having my full attention. I gave my daughter a doll with a nappy bag when my 2nd was born so she could bath, change and feed her baby while I was attending to her sister. I found it helped her feel more included.

Hey! I had my LO when my older girl was 13 months so very similar age gap! Very similar to you aswell where my first baby came out fully cooked and my second was just over a week early! My second cried for the first 3 months of her life and luckily my older daughter didn’t copy so unfortunately I don’t have tips for that! But my youngest baby ended up having a milk allergy and once she was on the right milk she’s a whole different baby. Does she have any symptoms of that? They’re now 20 months old & 7 months old and it has definitely got way easier! You’ve got this!

@Rebecca She’s on my breast milk! So no formula right now. She was for like a day or two several weeks ago so I could pump enough to get a few storage bottle full to not have to supplement. I don’t eat a whole lot of milk products; some butter and cheese and the occasional yogurt, but I really don’t think I ate a lot of dairy. I’ve tried giving her less milk more often in case she was getting too much and causing her discomfort. I’ve tried more milk less often in case she wasn’t getting enough. I’ve tried making sure she gets all the burps out and keeping her more upright after bottles. I thought initially it was because she was early and just wanted me for comfort, but now at 6 weeks it hasn’t lessened up, so I just don’t know what to do. Our next check up is in December, but I’m considering asking for a sooner appointment to talk to our Dr to see if there’s an underlying cause like a milk allergy or if this is just how she is and I have to suck it up and deal.

@Sarah I may look into that! She has some stuffed animals, but not any “babies”’that she could copy and take care of. I’ll try anything at this point! It’s gotten so bad that sometimes I just have to put on some noise canceling headphones and try to tune my toddler out because I know it’s fake cries and the whining is like nails on a chalkboard to my brain and it makes me feel terrible that I don’t have more patience for it:.. probably because I know it’s fake, her real cries get my attention immediately though. Thank you for the suggestion!

Definitely have her checked for cow milk protein allergy.. that was making my newborn super colicky & even if your having the tad bit of dairy it will bother her. Even if it’s just an ingredient in anything at all. I had to quit breastfeeding and get her on a hypoallergenic formula and she became a new baby!

I had much the same sort of crying/neediness with my LO, lasted about 3 months, could well just be the “fourth trimester” symptoms- she just wants to be with you all the time. Wearing baby in a sling was the only thing that gave me a break from her crying if she wasn’t feeding. The fake crying I often ignore with my toddler too but I try and have distractions like snacks/books(with sounds) and wooden jigsaws to hand which make a big difference

@Chelsea and @Emer thank you ladies!!

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