@Lilly we both work it’s a complicated situation he was paying for everything for a while and I’m trying to contribute but my funds are so tight he had a job that was paying way more he had two new cars the job was taxing and dangerous so he’s had a few different jobs in the past few years my job is 9-6 no overtime really they just gave me a 5% raise a week ago I was going to ask for a raise but then they did that unprovoked it’s still not enough. I’ve gotten rid of subscriptions and managed to lower my car note, car insurance, and phone bill but ended up picking up the daycare bill it still isn’t enough I’ve tried rev and other online transcription things for extra money but don’t seem to have enough time with my son being all over me I’m also trying to complete my real estate license but it’s hard with juggling a baby his dads not home much and it’s mostly to do with the strain on our relationship I’ve even tried to apply for loans but my credit isn’t great
Are you married? I know that’s a personal question and honestly you don’t have to reply if you are uncomfortable but if you are not married i really think you can get food stamps/wic to help at least with food costs. https://www.usa.gov/food-stamps I think getting your real estate license is a great idea, i wouldn’t suggest loans though. I know it’s a hard conversation and i may be overstepping saying this but i can promise you the relationship strain is not your fault. Just by all the ideas you are trying/thinking, you are giving this your all. With all of this stress you should be able to rely on the dad. You are juggling so much. My advice would be to sit down with the baby’s dad tell him you need help with daycare costs you have tried/ are trying to do your best but you need more help and he’s obligated to give it. Everyone goes through hard periods but he is the baby’s parent as well and needs to be doing his best to help you both. 🤍i say all of this with care! You are so strong♥️
@Lilly thank you 😊 no we aren’t married. I do have WIC it helps a bit I applied for child care assistance today to see what they say
@Lilly I feel bad cause he does pay for the apartment and other bills but now he can’t afford his car due to a job change which i didn’t know it was that bad cause he never communicates with me but he also had all this stuff when we first got together so I had no idea he couldn’t afford things now and he’s blaming me but I try to give him money when I can and pay for groceries and other things too
i understand. You aren’t to blame though, it isn’t all your fault he had pre existing high expenses that he now can’t pay for because he changed jobs. The options here seem to be he needs to sell the high expense car for a cheaper model. You already have wic so you are covered for your portion of the groceries. I suggest stop giving him money for groceries/etc. and he should start paying for daycare or at least half. I think there should be a conversation about him getting another job/ selling his high expense items or both. Parenting requires sacrifices and he should have to make those as well not just you. Which i’m not saying he hasn’t, but from how you are describing finances he needs to more. If you are in a relationship/living with your baby’s father he needs to be a full parent as well. The solution here sounds he needs to sell his vehicle he cannot afford and pick up another/different job. I’m sure this all sounded really harsh but although he helps some it doesn’t seem enough
@Lilly I appreciate you lol you’re right he’s trying to blame me for stuff he put upon himself he’s horrible with talking things out but it’s a conversation we need to have
are you a single working mom/or do you have a working partner as well? Also does your job allow/pay overtime? I would suggest budgeting non fixed expenses and cutting out simple things for a little bit like fast food or random items if you are able. Definitely try to negotiate your wage at your second job to max your earnings and possibly talk to your current employer overtime about a raise there as well. 🤍 i know it’s overwhelming but everything will work out eventually and you will get through this!