Do I have to forgive my child’s father?

I left my baby’s father a year ago after waiting around too long for change. The relationship was toxic and full of abuse. He truly broke me into a million pieces that I’m slowly starting to put back together. But I cannot stand the fact that I have to deal with him for THE REST of my life!! I’ve had a lot of people do me wrong in my life, literally my parents even, and I’ve never hated anyone more than I hate him. I know people say to forgive because it’ll benefit me and what not, but I can’t ever see myself doing it. I try; I journal and read and do all the things, but he’s just horrible and really messed up a lot of things for me. He’s also the “poster dad” that acts like he couldn’t live without our kid but he refuses to get her more than 2 days a week. It’s never been 50/50 and I’m so sick of it. I’d honestly rather him not be a part of our lives at all, but I’d never instigate that and do that to my daughter. This whole thing just sucks and I had to vent

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As much as you don’t want to it’s easier to forgive especially on your heart. That way you can move on.

I also broke up with the father of my child a year ago, he was extremely abusive in every way. I used to REALLY hate him for all the things he did to me. Eventually I was able to forgive him, I don't hate him anymore. I don't want anything to do with him I only talk to him about our daughter. I'm taking him to court soon. I still deal with some of the abusive behavior from hundreds of miles away. Forgiving someone who has caused so much trauma is never easy. When we broke up I was broken. I had a four month old baby and I was so depressed I cried every day and felt like I couldn't ever breathe. The pain felt crushing. People are right about it being easier on you to forgive. Eventually I think you should but I also know how hard it is. It will take you time. The only person you're really hurting by holding on is yourself but maybe you're not ready to let go and forgive him. Don't let people rush you in your healing. Take your time. Someday I'm sure you'll forgive him and you'll be able to move on without him.

I once heard someone say “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die”. Forgiveness heals you. It’s for you not for him. Also, Jesus is the only one that can truly help us to forgive. Praying for you 💕

I’m in a similar boat

I feel you on this. I hate my baby’s father and I don’t think I will EVER forgive him and the fun part of it is I DONT HAVE TO and neither do you!! I plan on focusing on myself and my baby (im still pregnant) and ofc im not gonna shit talk my baby’s father in front of them but you forgive when you’re ready to (if ever)!!

I think people forget that you can’t force yourself into forgiveness and if you do it’s usually only very surface level and not genuine ykwim?