Am I a bad mom?
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That’s honestly so relatable. Don’t feel bad . I understand my husband is in the army, and I really want to join at least as reserves. As a military brat I had the best experience as a child . Traveling the world and so many other benefits that it comes with. Your baby will appreciate you both when they get older. It’s definitely a tough conversation. Have you and your husband talked about that ?
@Imary thank you. I just don’t want to have any regrets. And my baby is currently 4 months old. I wouldn’t go to the boat until next year, until then I am just on shore duty
Don't feel bad. Your lil girl is being taken care of by her dad. And she'll look up to you later in life and see all your accomplishments
@Aundrea yes, he knows. He is excited for his “turn” to take care of her. She’s currently breast fed and knowing I’m going to have to stop in a couple months is just making me feel like I’m giving up being close to my baby so that I can stop being envious of my husband.
I totally understand! It’s hard to put yourself before your baby/kids, but it’s necessary to be happy sometimes. You should definitely push yourself to reach your goals and not feel guilty for accomplishing them. We have years and years with our babies/kids.I think it’s fair to put ourselves first occasionally especially when you have goals that don’t involve motherhood. You got this mama🫶🏼🫶🏼
Let's reframe your thinking. You are modeling to her that you can have the best of both worlds. Just because you're a mom doesn't mean you give up things you truly want to do. It means you compromise to do what's best for you and your family. You don't want to feel resentment towards your role as a mom and your husband. Someone told me that resentment happens when YOU think you can't do the thing someone else is doing. Idk, for me, it helped me change my thinking. Also, two things can be true at once, even if they are conflicting. You can want to go on the boat and want to not leave your baby. Personally, from me, the only thing you CAN'T do is believe you're a bad mom for having wants like this. Be nicer to yourself mom and know that taking care of yourself results in you taking care of your children
@Sheila that’s so nice to hear. I would never have resentment towards my baby, I think it’s more towards my husband. I absolutely love my husband. I just want to be able to tell my kids that we both did hard stuff in the military and it wasn’t dad just making all the sacrifices
I know we have different experiences since im a SAHM and you are a working mom but I think I say this for all moms and it’s we always put others ahead of ourselves. We think about how to make our lives flexible for our families. I’m not sure how old your baby is but if you already returned to work i think experiencing the things you wanted is valid. Your husband is also a parent and should be willing to make sacrifices to his career just as you have for yours. You both went into this knowing you were dual military and that comes with its own challenges. If he loves and supports you he shouldn’t have any issue with using his baby leave to support his wife with her goals. I know mom guilt will make you feel horrible but at the end of the day our babies/kids will be much happier when their parents are happier!