What would you do if your boyfriend was constantly dismissing your mental problems/feelings and continuing to do the things that trigger it even though you’ve talk to him about it numerous times?

I have BPD and I’m trying to work on it but it’s really difficult to when my boyfriend just for the life of him can’t understand mental problems. He’s read about it, he’s done a bunch of research on it but when I tell him something triggers it he just tells me “triggers don’t exist” and then we fight about it 😕

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

I want to marry him but now I feel like I’m possibly just settling..

I couldn't live with someone like that. He can take all the steps and refuse to learn. Really? Triggers don't exist? 🤦

Nope. Save yourself. As a fellow bpd girlie you either need a partner who gets it, or you should just be single.

would you mind giving some examples of reasonable and unreasonable things to request not to do or say so I have a better understanding of reasonable vs unreasonable? 😅

I don’t have bpd but I have diagnosed ADHD, depression, anxiety and it’s been questionable if I’ve been struggling with post partum OCD.
I agree with Alex. I think it completely depends on what your triggers are.
For me, I had WILDLY unrealistic expectations of my husband because of the (possible) OCD. Such as: he could NEVER leave things out or forget things. If he sat on the couch he needed to refluff the pillows because it would drive me nuts if they weren’t.
These things were absolutely ridiculous but in my insane whirlpool of hormones and mental illness I legitimately contemplated divorce over it,
Things that he I feel are very important to my “triggers” (if I can call them that) that I really need him to make an active effort not to do are: not ask me stupid questions he knows the answer to just to get a rise out of me like “what’s baby’s diaper size?” Or really letting mess build up.
Touching me when I’ve told him I’m not in the mood to be touched. Things like that

in our community

Sleeping bag

8 week old in sleeping bag for first time as big enough! Do you feed your child in the night whilst in the sleeping bag or taken them out, feed then transfer back to sleeping bag before putting down?

Not drinking

I’m going crazy. Baby born at 2.26kg. Slow to put on weight. This last week hasn’t put on any. Been trying to feed him at night and he’s not interested at all. Fast asleep. During day he will have 5 minute gulps and that’s it. He don’t cry for milk. I’ve got to keep offering to him. I try to offer it every hour but I don’t know what I’m doing. HV said nutrition comes after 5 minutes so I should pump first and then give him. I find it so hard. I tried to pump one boob nothing came. The other abit came. Tried giving him express he’s not interested in that too. Sometimes he will go for a longer a feed but not long at all. He’s 4 months and is currently 5.46kg. I have no family or friend support here and wish I had a cook, cleaner and nanny to help with everything so I can concentrate on the little one. I don’t know what’s wrong with him but I’m loosing it. It doesn’t help that my also stressed generally about my relationship and life circumstances. Any advice that will work. Any comfort you can give. I’m fed up. Is this regression - not feeding. He’s fast fast asleep. I’ve been trying to push the nipple in but that mouth is closed shut. I took some clothes off. Changed his nappy but he’s still asleep. Please help

Leaky nappy help

What nappies are you using to stop leaks?? We use pampers ultra dry size 5, and for the past few nights he has lashed through and we’ve had to completely change him during the night. Last night he leashed through twice!! He sleeps on his front and stays leaks through at the top of his leg where the tabs connect. Didn’t know whether to size up, he has a bit of a belly on him but he’s smack in middle of weight guidance so shouldn’t need too

My little one is struggling with sleep

Hey! I'm in need of some advice please girls! My little boy is 20 months turns 21 months in 2 half weeks. He use to sleep through the night now he is waking up every single night in the early morning, I've had to transition him to a toodler bed as he kept climbing out his cot. Just need some advice on what I can do to help him get back in to a sleep pattern?

5.30am wakeups 😫😴

My 15 week old has started waking up about 5.30am and is really hard to settle back down - it’s like he thinks it’s time to wake up for the day. He used to go to bed at 9pm and was up at 8am but now he goes to bed between 7.30-8pm as he’s knackered by then but waking up at 5.30am😴. Any advice to get him to sleep a little longer in the morning?! Even an extra hour would be lovely 🤣

New born

Finally had my baby girl via C-section on the 18th, everything has been so far. But I’ve noticed she’s very fussy and cries a lot. I’ve been trying to exclusively breastfeed. The lactation consultant at the hospital said I did look like I’m making enough milk for her. She was latching on good at the hospital and now here at home, she doesn’t seem to want to latch at all. She’s been crying a lot and very fussy. I’m just wondering is she’s colic or like maybe she just doesn’t want the breast anymore?