Please tell me second vaginal births are better than first! 😭

I’m due with my second in 5 weeks and had this same struggle. Ask your midwives if they have a mental health resource person on the team - my team does, she specializes in birth stories and processing traumatic births. She was able to walk me through everything and explained exactly why certain things happened and answer every specific question I had about what to expect/how to prepare for the second one. I won’t lie I still have a ton of anxiety about it but I am attempting the vaginal birth again.

This is absolutely my fear too. I've just found out I'm pregnant with number 2, and had a traumatic vaginal birth with number 1 in lockdown. I always said I'd opt for an elective c section if we had a second.

I had a precipitent labour with my first and got ptsd. I looked at an elective c section for my second last year but ultimately had him vaginally and unmedicated once again. It was VASTLY better. Took far less time, and the labour agony was hit only about 25mins before he was born (compared to 4h with my daughter 3 years ago). Baby was far less traumatised, I had no tears nor surgery, and I can actually look back on his birth with a feeling of nostalgia. Second births are almost always faster and easier. But if you want to have a c-sec, and are fully informed of the consequences etc, and it will make you less stressed, then go for it. Am assuming you're UK here of course.

Idk if my input would have weight but I have had 2 C-sections and the recovery is hard (at least for me). I never had the opportunity to have a vaginal birth. Failed to go into labor with my first and had a failed VBAC attempt. It's a major surgery. From what i have heard most say vaginal has an easier recovery. However, you need to do what is best for you. If having a csection is better for you mentally than go for it. Just know that csections can have their own challenges. But end of the day, make the decision that is best for you 🤗💜

@Raya what was it that swayed you to have another vaginal after looking at an elective? I’m so glad the second birth was a much more positive experience.

@Shelley most of my friends had c sections so very aware of the recovery but their birthing experiences are much more positive and calmer than mine was which is a huge push for the elective. Overall yes vaginal births have a quicker recovery but it took me 8 months to fully heal down there after rounds of antibiotics and reconstructive surgery because everything was so badly damaged so I feel like I would find a c section recovery okay after having dealt with the awful recovery the first time round!

What do you think it was that made your first birth traumatic?

My second labour and delivery was a lot quicker than the first and a positive experience. With the first I had an induction and epidural. Second time round I just had the gas and air and I healed a lot quicker and was on my feet earlier. A few of my friends that have had their second recently all had positive second births compared to their first. All had vaginal births. My friend is a midwife and within their coworkers they all agree that second labours are their personal favourites 🤭

You are very entitled to which ever birth you choose. It sounds as though your birth was incredibly traumatic. If you want a c-section, have one. 💪🏼

I don't know if this helps but all 3 of my births have been vaginal, With my 3rd labour , I just about made it to the hospital , I had no time for any pain relief she came out within 5mins of my waters gushing - I gave birth standing up ..... However, it was probably the best birth I had I kinda felt like a warrior an healing was very quick. With my 1st and 2nd I was induced and I had gas n air with my first and my 2nd i had an epidural but the recovery took time as I had slight nerve damage - which is a common side affect of the epidural. However with my 2nd he was prem at 24wks and breech they did mention c-section but I rejected as I didn't want the long stay at hospital after, he was so tiny anyway and he came out footlong . X

First was 27 hours and had to have an episiotomy. Second was 3 hours with no “damage”

With my first pregnancy, I had an unmedicated vaginal birth. Everything went smoothly. I was open minded, thought positive and went with the flow. I didn’t feel a thing when I was pushing 😳 I’m now pregnant with baby #2 due in December and aiming for the same thing. As much as I know what I’ll be expecting but still a little nervous..

My first I had a 40hr labor, and almost 3hrs of pushing on my back in the hospital due to shoulder dystocia. My second I got a membrane sweep and 10 days later I woke up to labor starting and literally 4 hours later with like ten pushes that were from my body's fetal ejection reflex and the baby was out. I was standing and on my hands and knees and the baby just came right out. She was 2oz bigger than my first also. We were planning a home birth and the midwife didn't even make it in time.(Not sure if it helps but I was eating dates the last week as I waited to go into labor. Supposedly it helps dilation)

Also, I asked my midwife about her experience with shoulder dystocia and she says she's delt with it and she has the mother change positions. The thing about the hospital was I was on my back and side and the baby has to be pushed at an upward angle to exit the birth canal when you're on your back. I would 10/10 reccomend being on hands and knees.

Second birth was WAY easier, much shorter and not nearly as much pushing. Highly recommend giving it a chance. There is no way I would elect to ever have surgery for this. Recovery from that alone is so much harder and intense. That's just my opinion.

If you have a c section the midwives lose a customer 😂 that's why I don't have midwives they actually say they are the ones that don't have bias but trust me they are the ones

Then I say go for it! Do what will be best for you mentally amd physically. 💜 Sounds like you were put threw the ringer with your first 😥 and i am sorry you had to go threw that. 8 month recovery is a lot to go threw and a schedule csection would be calmer and the recovery time no where near what you had to go threw. Traumatic births are horrible, my first was traumatic and wish no expecting mother ever had to experience such things 😢

Hmm, good question, I don't have a simple answer... partly it was that Lewisham had no elective slots available when I enquired about booking one, partly it was head in the sand attitude to the whole thing, but quite a large part of it was also a determination to own this second birth, make it what I wanted it to be. Forewarned is forearmed after all; it wasn't going to be such a shock the second time. I'm also lucky as a friend's sister is a consultant obstetrician in Bristol so I had a long exchange with her, too. Finally with a toddler at home, I didn't really want to be post-surgery, unable to heft her, etc. I was cleared for a water birth, and wanted to try that, and I also knew baby wasnt expected to be big (he was 8lb 9, so less than my first by 3oz).